Am I Kinky Enough?

April 21, 2009

Hi Master Bishop & Mistress Sophia,

Your information has helped me to learn so much. Thank you.

I enjoy some spanking and light bondage during sex. I’m just curious does that make me kinky?

Sincerely,

J.S. Calgary
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Hi JS and thanks for your email.

Everyone wants to label and define what they do in the bedroom. Are you kinky or are you vanilla? Are you risqué or are you perverted? And in no other realm of bedroom enjoyment does this happen more than when it comes to BDSM.

It all depends on what you enjoy. The question of whether you’re doing it ‘right’ or ‘hard enough’ is one that many beginners ask. Here’s what you need to know.

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What is BDSM?
****************************

In its strictest definition, BDSM stands for Bondage Domination Submission (or Sadism) and Masochism. Here’s what that tends to include:

* One person is bound in some way.
* There is some sort of power exchange in which one person gives up their control.
* There may be some sort of pain component of the play sessions.
* These kinds of activities may or may not be a part of the relationship.

What you will not notice in this list is any hard and set rules about what BDSM is and what it is not. This is because BDSM is something that only two people (or more) can define within their particular relationship. This is why so many BDSM relationships have contracts and guidelines they setup beforehand. These contracts and lists will often define in minute detail what the relationship and the sexual play will contain.

********************************************
Is There a ‘Right’ Way to Do BDSM?
********************************************

If you’re engaged in lighter bondage and some control play with someone else, chances are good that you could consider this BDSM, just a very light form of it. Think of sexual play as something that has levels. The first level is general sex and lovemaking. The next level might be some kinkier things like role playing, light bondage, and toys. And the next level up might be heavier toy play, heavier bondage, and perhaps some gender play. The top level might be hardcore bondage and control play, along with edge play and other fetishes.

This is not to say that one level is better than the other, of course. Everyone just has different tastes and different levels of pleasure.

**********************************
Let Me tell you a story:
**********************************

I know one person who only enjoys being spanked and having her hair pulled. She has tried bondage and other forms of BDSM and learned that she just didn’t enjoy it. All she likes is having her hair pulled and being spanked.

One night she went to a fetish party and a Dominant who she has never spoken to before asked her what she enjoyed. When she told him said “You’re not kinky” and he walked away.

The frustrating part is when she dates vanilla guys and she asks them to pull her hair and spank her they look at her like she’s crazy.

So now she wonders am I kinky or not. Really she shouldn’t be asking herself whether or not she is kinky. Your kink is your kink. Once you know and understand what you enjoy you just need to find someone who shares the same interests.

In the end, if you’re worried about how kinky you are, you might not be having as much fun during sex as you should be. Kinky isn’t something you can measure for certain, as some people think sex itself is kinky, while others don’t think anything is kinky until you draw blood. Stop for a minute and forget about whether your habits in the bedroom are kinky and think about whether you’re having a good time. That’s all that matters. If you’re not having a good time, you need to find out why and work to fix it by adding or subtracting fantasies.

*************************************
As You Continue to Explore
*************************************

What you might find as you continue to use light bondage and spanking in your relationship is that you will want to explore more. You might find that you need more in order to get the same pleasure from the experience. Harder, deeper, stronger maybe even different toys, etc. Many people find that they like to start off with light play sessions and then eventually try out new things until they are satisfied with their love life. This doesn’t mean everyone wants to head to the leather and ropes, but many people find they like to push their edges more and more. Remember you never have to do something that you don’t want to do.

What you call your love life is up to you. No one else is going to be watching anyway.

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If you would like to understand what it is that lights your fire and learn more about BDSM and other fun kinky acts visit===> The BDSM Slave Training Tutorial
=================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this article

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, Female Submissive, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

How to Learn the Most from Your Master/Mistress

April 17, 2009

As a slave, you already know you have an important job in your life – to serve your Master or your Mistress. And in this role, you have a number of duties. You might have a contract or a list of the things you are supposed to do, when you’re supposed to do them, etc. But if you’re newer to the position of being a slave, you might not realize that you actually have one very important part to play – a student.

To impress your owner take the initiative and begin learning by yourself. That way you will be able to understand and learn more from your Master or Mistress when they are directing you. If it’s been a while since you’ve last gone to school, it might be time to relearn how to learn. To jump start your education visit Submissive Training Tutorial

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Listen to What They Say
*****************************

One of the most basic things you should do in your role as a slave is to listen to what your owner has to tell you. You need to shut out the rest of the world as your owner speaks to you. This way, you can hear what they are telling you and do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. This sounds simple, but sometimes when your life is busy and you become distracted by other things, you can forget to slow down and to listen. To increase your chances of being focused for your owner, you will want to prepare yourself each day by getting rid of the things and the thoughts which distract you. Keep a piece of paper by your bedside or in some other area where you can write out all of your concerns and then release them from your consciousness. This will help you to stay in the moment with your owner while still having a place to remember things you might need to think about later.

You will also want to focus on the sound of your owner’s voice. This will help you to pay attention to what is being said, no matter what else is happening in the room. Think about how your owner’s voice sounds and try to listen to every change in tone.

**************************
Rethink Your Actions
**************************

Learning isn’t just about doing what you’re told though. You also want to spend time each day considering what you’ve already done. This will help you to think about ways you can improve your actions and your choices in the future. By simply taking the time to think over difficult situations in your mind, you can practice going through the situation again and again until you have the ‘right’ reaction to use for the next time the situation arises.

******************************
Learn from Your Mistakes
******************************

If you’re not sure how to approach a certain situation after having made a mistake, you might want to go to your owner to see what they have to say. Talk with them and show them that you want to better yourself as a slave and as a person. This way, you will learn exactly what they expect from you and you can follow their wishes appropriately the next time. Of course, once you have learned the right way to handle a situation, it is then up to you to remember this lesson and carry it over into your next session.

Learning from your Master or your Mistress is a part of your job as a slave. And while it might seem like it doesn’t need to be mentioned, it’s the one part of your job that matters most. For when you’re not learning, you’re not growing, and your owner isn’t growing as well. If you want to help your owner be the best Master or Mistress they can be, you need to hold up your end of the bargain too – and learn from their well planned lessons.

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Would you just walk into an exam without studying? Then why would walk into your slave training without learning and understanding. Don’t wait for your Master or Mistress to teach you, instead impress them with what you already know.
Here is your chance===> The BDSM Study Guide
=================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop
&
Mistress Sophia

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. To take a sneak peak at the complete program “The BDSM slave
training Guide” including ebook, audios and videos
www.discoverbdsmslavetraining.com

P.P.S. If you found this e-course helpful, e-mail your friends
right now and let them know about it!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Female Submissive, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

Feeling Uncomfortable With Your Slave Training

April 4, 2009

When Your Slave Wants to Do Something You Don’t Want to Do

As a Dominant, you have a lot of different things you can do with
your slave. You can push them right up to their boundaries by
looking at what you’ve agreed to include in scenes as well as
things you’ve decided you both might want to try. But what happens
when your slave wants to do something you don’t want to do? Does
this mean you need to find a new slave? Or does this mean that you
should acquiesce to their needs as they acquiesce to your needs?
This has become quite the sticky subject to approach between
Dominants and their slaves. Here are some things to consider when
you find yourself in this situation.

***********************************
Starting the Conversation
***********************************

Ideally, your slave is going to be the one who will initiate the
conversation about what they want. But you might have a situation
in which your slave tries to get you to do something during a
session that you have not agreed to before – this is a no no. You
need to stop the session and start a conversation, fully clothed.
This conversation needs to be as open as possible in order to learn
what your slave needs from you and what you are willing to provide
for them. If the conversation is spontaneous, you might need some
time to think things over before you go back to your slave with an
answer – and this okay. Starting the conversation is the most
important part and the way you will begin to consider what happens
next.

********************************
Trying It Out
********************************

For some Dominants, you may be perfectly willing to try something
new, just to see if it works. You might create some sort of
conditional arrangement, or even add a clause to your slave
contract, in order to show the slave you are just trying this out
and this may not be a part of what you two do together in the
future if it doesn’t work. After all, you might not enjoy what the
slave wants and your slave may not actually enjoy it once they try
it. While you might be the owner of your slave, it isn’t a bad
thing to allow for some creativity and adjustments to your
relationship – it might just add a new level of BDSM fun.

********************************
The Case for Saying No
********************************

On the other hand, if you’re a Dominant that completely lets their
slave walk all over them, you have a bigger problem than just not
liking what your slave wants to do. If you think about the request
from your slave and you think it’s just not something you want to
do, go ahead and say no. This will show you what the slave really
wants from your relationship sometimes. For example, if your slave
becomes petulant after not getting their way, you will see that
your slave is trying to control you. Perhaps it’s time for you to
step up your Dominant ways. On the other hand, if the slave goes
back to the way they were, without any regret for your
relationship, you will see that they simply did want to try
something new, not to try to control your actions.

There may come a time in your relationship when your slave wants to
try something new. And while you might not like the idea at first,
there’s no harm in trying since you can always go back to the way
things were. But in the end, it’s up to you what you do – that’s
why you wear the big boots in the relationship, after all.

==================================================================
If you are looking for more ways to train and control your slave,
so they remain loyal and obedient to you
go to===> Slave Training Tutorial
==================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop
&
Mistress Sophia

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. To take a sneak peak at the complete program “The BDSM slave
training Guide” with the ebook, audios and videos
www.discoverbdsmslavetraining.com

P.P.S. If you found this e-course helpful, e-mail your friends
right now and let them know about it!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training | Leave a Comment 

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