Who Says You Can’t Have Kids and a BDSM Relationship?

July 15, 2009

Hi Mistress Sophia and Master Bishop,

I have absolutely loved all the emails you have sent and learned
so much from each.

There is one problem that my husband and I are having and that is
that we have three children, but we want to experience more
within our Dom/sub relationship.

We have just started exploring bdsm within our relationship, but I
don’t want our children to know about it.

How do you live this lifestyle without exposing your children to it?

Sincerely,

Nora, Phoenix

******************************************************************

Here Are My Comments:

I can understand your concern, as children or anyone under the age
of 18 years old should never be exposed to bdsm and/or other adult
activities.

When it comes to a spicier sex life, you’re going to be taking some
risks. With BDSM, the risks are even higher, though the rewards
are just as great. But when you have kids, can you still have the
BDSM you crave? After all, with the screaming, spanking, and
sweating, is their a greater chance of your children finding out?

The simple answer is no. With careful planning and some creativity,
you can still have the BDSM relationship you want – and your
children won’t know.

**********************
Turn Up the Volume
**********************

One of the easiest ways to keep your children from hearing anything
you’re doing is to turn up your radio, CD, or mp3 player while
you’re having fun. True, this might also attract a little more
attention to your play times, but your children would much rather be
hearing Enigma a little too loudly than someone screaming. Of
course, that is what gags are for.

***********************
Find Your Own Space
***********************

Ideally, your bedroom or your play area should be as far away from
the kids as you can get it. If you can move your bedroom to
another room, that might help to cut down the noise a bit more.
Basements and first floor bedrooms are ideal for louder sessions.
You will also want to install a lock on your bedroom door that is
not easy to pry. This way, your children can stay outside of the
room until you are dressed and ready to see them.

Of course if your children are not old enough to take care of
themselves then they should never be left unattended. Night
time while your kids sleep is a good opportunity for play
without them knowing.

***********************
Scheduling Sessions
***********************

If possible, you can always schedule your BDSM time for times when
your children are not around or awake. This way, you can minimize
anything they hear while you have your own fun.

Or you can take your BDSM activities to play clubs where no one but
other BDSM lovers will be witnessing your domination and submission
times. You can even plan a nice bdsm get away with your partner
while the grandparents babysit for the weekend.

******************************
Under the Radar Submission
******************************

Of course, sometimes, you want to maintain your submissive and
dominant roles, even when you’re not in the bedroom, but can you
really say ‘yes sir’ and ‘no ma’am’ when you’re around the kids?
If you’re nervous that your children are going to catch on, you
might want to employ different signals for submission in the public
eye. For example, if the sub is out of line, there might be a
special word or touch the dominant can use to warn them of their
misdeed. The sub might also play a role of the subservient one in
the family situations – cooking, cleaning, etc. – to help continue
their service to their Dom/me.

****************************
Create an Emergency Plan
****************************

Some parents may not be too thrilled to think about separate areas
for their play times or about a lock on their bedroom door – what
if there is an emergency? Have your children learn a special way
to attract attention at your door if there actually is an emergency
so that everyone can stay safe.

****************************************
Other Tips for Keeping Things Hidden
****************************************

* Have a lock box or locked cupboard for your toys
* Never bruise or mark your partner somewhere the children might see
* Never be physically abusive in front of the children, even if it’s
in fun. Children will not be able to tell the difference.

If you are ‘caught,’ explain that everything is okay and that no
one is hurt. That’s really all children need to know. They
actually don’t need to know the details about why you’re into BDSM
in the first place.

Having a BDSM relationship can be difficult when you’re sharing a
home with children, but it’s certainly not impossible. BDSM
doesn’t have to be 24/7, just enjoy every opportunity when you
can.

==================================================================
I hope that answers the question.
Keep your eyes peeled for the next edition which will arrive in a
few weeks!

To learn more tips and ideas on how to incorporate bdsm training
into your life visit===> BDSM Training

**Please Note: The BDSM Slave Training team only provides opinion
about the safe, sane and consensual performance of bdsm and/or
other adult activities. This means that bdsm and/or other adult
activities are at all times to only be performed with consenting
adults. An adult being anyone over 18+ years of age or the legal
age in your state/country.

BDSM and/or other adult activities can never be performed with
anyone under the age of 18 years old.

Regards,

Mistress Sophia
& Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, Female Submissive, Male Submissive Training | 1 Comment 

Does a Slave Deserve to Be Happy?

July 7, 2009

Whether you are Dominant or submissive, you can’t have a BDSM relationship without the other. The question becomes, does a slave deserve to be happy in the relationship? The answer to this question is tricky, however, as many Dominants aren’t sure how to define happy and whether training or happiness is the more important goal. After all, contracts are nice, but a slave can always walk away from a relationship when it’s truly consensual. As a result, you might wonder what you need to do in order to keep your slave under your power. Here are some things you may want to consider.

***********************************************************
Defining Happiness in the BDSM Relationship
***********************************************************

Happiness is different for everyone, that’s for sure. Within your personal relationship, a slave and a Master needs to define what will make both of them feel happy within the relationship. This is why the contract is such an important piece of paper. On this, you can both list what you want and then make sure that you are both accommodating the other person as you continue to be a part of the relationship. If you do not accommodate the person, you know that you might not be making them happy.

Of course, people’s needs and desires change over time. This is also why updating one’s contract will help to continue to share in the creating a good relationship for the other person. There may very well be a time when a slave wants something and then gets it, but realizes that isn’t making them feel as good as they thought it would – and that’s a problem. With the ability to adjust the contract, each person can continuously communicate their needs and then the relationship can be focused on fulfilling these needs.

***************************************************
Should Training Be More Important?
***************************************************

What’s interesting about training is that most newer BDSM players automatically assume that training is going to be a horrible experience – not true. Many slaves have always wanted to be trained to be a slave and thus the training is just further fulfilling their fantasies and desires. However it should be said that training is not always fun and games. It is not always easy and it is not always exciting. From the Dominant’s point of view, training is a tool to creating the slave they want to control. But if the slave is not satisfied with the training they are receiving and they are not learning as they should, they will not feel comfortable in their role as a slave – and they will not be happy. And a slave who is not happy, or at least content, is a slave who will not be as motivated to become a better slave.

******************************************
Keeping a Slave Around
******************************************

When Mistresses or Masters want to keep their slaves around, there needs to be something in the relationship for the slave as well. Though it might seem like it’s only the Dominant who should be getting anything out of the relationship, it really does take two to tango – especially in a power-based relationship. The Dominant needs to give of themselves to the slave and the slave needs to work hard in their training and in their communication. When both sides are holding up their end of the contract, everyone will be happy.

Yes, the slave deserves to have the things they except from a BDSM arrangement, but that doesn’t mean everything will be perfect all the time. People are not perfect and things can be rocky at times – just like any couple experiences. But when you have the commitment to each other and to your contract, you will create a relationship that is filled with happiness – even if that’s not a smile that the slave has on their face at the time.

=======================================================================
Learn more about BDSM activities and how to keep everybody happy in your relationship
go to ===> The BDSM Slave Training Guide
=======================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop
&
Mistress Sophia

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, Female Submissive, Male Submissive Training | 1 Comment 

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