Spare the Rod, Spoil the Sub?

February 21, 2011

Punishments seem to go hand in hand with BDSM practitioners, however, there is some debate among Dominants as to whether this is entirely necessary. After all, if you have trained your sub well, it would seem that punishments should never be necessary. Punishments and pain seem to be the first thing people think about when training a slave to be good, rather than reinforcing good behaviors. Or is this really the case? Perhaps it’s time to look at whether sparing the rod will spoil the sub – or whether it spoils the Master or Mistress.

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The Purpose of Punishment
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What many Dom/mes realize in the beginning is just how effective it is to use punishment to train the slave to perform certain tasks. A little flogging here, some canning there and you’ve created a slave who is not only completely obedient, but also completely bent to your heart’s desires. Punishments are also doled out when the slave isn’t doing what they should and you might want to correct them. In the beginning of your BDSM pleasures, you might find that these punishments are being given out at nearly every training session, much to the satisfaction of both parties.

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Training Continues On and On
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But as your relationship and training progresses, it can become less necessary to use punishments in order to reinforce behavior. You might find that your slave is acting the way you want them to act, so it seems you don’t have to use punishments as much, if at all. And while this might seem like a reasonable exchange of activities, true training doesn’t have a stopping point. You can not simply create a slave and then set them free to be as they are. What you need to do is to continuously create new goals for your slave, helping to encourage them to better themselves each time you meet, rather than just remain a stagnant version of themselves.

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Shifting the Idea of Punishment
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At this point of a BDSM relationship, you need to realize that as a Dominant, your job is to come up with ways for your slave to grow in their role and as a person. You need to constantly be looking for ways to improve your slave’s behaviors and their ability to serve you. Punishment isn’t just for those times when they are wrong. If your training is strong, they might stop doing ‘wrong’ things, so it’s time to look at punishment as a way to shape a slave into the submissive you want them to be. Start by looking for new ways your slave can serve you and new ways your slave can become more useful to you. Once you have identified these behaviors, use punishments to continue your training together.

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Are You Getting Lazy with Training?
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Even Dominants are human and prone to being less than stringent with their slaves. Though the movies make Dom/mes look like all powerful beings who never waver in their role, you’re not going to be able to keep up your control all the time. However, this does not mean that you should not try. You can not be lazy when it comes to training your slave. Once you begin to waver in your punishments, your slave will realize it and they might even take advantage of your laxness. Each day or each training session, you should create one goal for your slave to achieve. This way, you have a clear sense of what your slave is supposed to be doing and you have a clear sense of what you need to be guiding your slave to do.

Punishments help your slave in a variety of ways, so now is not the time to set down your paddle. Now is the time to pick it up to see how far your slave can go to serve you. Don’t forget, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Meaning that you can’t forget to reward your slave. Slave training is not all about punishments, you might actually find that many good behaviors are learned faster with positive reinforcement, then from the crack of a whip.

If you show your slave that they make you happy with their service, they will want to serve you more. If you are always upset with how they serve you, then your slave will pull away. Think about it, do you want to be around someone who is angry and upset all the time? A good rule of thumb, for every time you punish a slave, you should tell them 3 or 4 things they have done right and make you happy. You may be excited about dishing out a punishment whenever you can, just don’t forget to dish out those rewards as well.

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>>>For more ways to get the most out of your slave go to ===> The BDSM Slave Training Tutorial

=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training | Leave a Comment 

What To Do When You Lose Desire for Your Master

February 17, 2011

You know the stories about marriages that go bad, the spark is lost, the passion has simmered, etc. But that doesn’t happen in BDSM relationships, does it? In any relationship, there are times when your desire waxes and wanes. However, if you’re beginning to feel that your desire for your Master is absent more than it is present, it’s time to start reconsidering your relationship and whether you need to do more as a slave – or if you need to find a new fit for your submissive needs.

It happens to a lot of slaves, so don’t feel you’re the only one. Realizing that you need to change things is something that needs to be addressed immediately if you want to give yourself and your Master the relationship you deserve.

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Is It Just About You?
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Sometimes, you might just get bored with the relationship you have – and there may be no reason for it. You might just feel like things are getting to be too routine, like you’re just not ‘into’ him anymore. And your Master isn’t doing anything differently, so it’s time to look at yourself. Are you not doing certain things that you’re supposed to do? Are you forgetting why you chose to be with your Master in the first place? While it is always easier to look at how someone else is doing something wrong, remember there are two people in this relationship. Therefore it takes two people to cause the connection to die.

Communication is essential. Talk to your Master about your feelings. This way you make sure he knows what you are facing and that you are trying to work harder to make him happy. Ask him about how he is feeling, if there is any stress in his life that might be causing him to withdraw. Ask him if there is anything you can do to make life easier for him. If a Dominant sees you putting more effort in, he will want to put more effort in as well.

In your training, you might start again from the beginning to see if you are able to get back into that slave mindset. Write out a list of why you want to be submissive and why you want to be submissive to your Master. Read this list every day to remind yourself, why you are in this relationship and why you chose to serve your Master.

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Is It About Him?
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If you’ve truly been trying to get the spark back into your BDSM and you’ve done everything you can to make sure that you’re the best slave possible, then you will need to look at your Master. Are they as interested in you? Have they added other slaves that might be taking up their time? Try to find an issue which might be contributing to your Master’s lack of interest or their lack of desire. If you can find something, talk with them about it to see if perhaps they are facing something personal which might be affecting your relationship. If the Master is not, you might want to ask the scary and difficult question of whether they are bored with the relationship. If they say they are, you might both want to work on making things exciting again – or it might be time to part ways.

Don’t forget to communicate how you feel. You don’t have to tell him you are not attracted to him anymore, but tell him how you feel, how you need more and the type of things you feel you need. Just because you are submissive does not mean you can’t voice your feelings. In fact it is essential that you do.

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Learned Everything You Can
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It is natural when you are learning from someone else that you might begin to move away from them when you’ve learned all that you can. In a love relationship, when you have had all of the experiences you need to have with that person, many people begin to lose desire. What do most people do? End the relationship and find someone else, because they feel they will be happy then.

Please keep in mind happiness does not come from an external source. Happiness does not come from a relationship, it comes from you and how you perceive life. You can choose to be happy now! You can be happy in your relationship now and decide to work on creating the type of relationship you want with your Master.

If you just look at relationships as a way to make you happy and a way for you to get what you want, then you will continue to jump from Master to Master. Always looking for a new relationship to make you happy and give you what you want. In the end you always be searching for happiness but never find it, because happiness doesn’t come from a Master, it comes from you. Sure you will be happy for a couple of months until the relationship gets old and then you will need to find a new one. Before you decide to end a relationship with your Dominant, ask yourself, are you unhappy with your Master or are you just unhappy and hoping a new relationship or new Master will make you happy again?

No matter what, ending a relationship, especially one as intense as a BDSM relationship will be painful. But if you find that the both of you are just not a good fit and not compatible then it can be the best decision for the both of you. And if you’ve tried your hardest to make things work, you have nothing to feel badly about in the end.

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>>>For more ways to enhance a relationship between a Dominant and submissive go to ===> The Dom/sub Relationship Tutorial
=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under female submissive training | Leave a Comment 

How to Be a Good Slave When You’re Sick

February 17, 2011

Chances are high that at some point of slave training, you will get sick. And when you’re sick, you might not have the ability to call ‘off’ from your slave duties. In order to make sure you are still being a good slave and doing what your Dom/me wants you to do, here are some ways to handle the inevitable scene where you’re the victim of germs which are more dangerous than your Dominant can be.

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How Sick Are You?
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This is something you must figure out for yourself before you speak to your Dom/me. Only you truly know how you feel, so you must be honest with yourself about whether or not you can perform your duties appropriately. If you just have the sniffs, then you probably could just suck it up. However if you are very sick and not able to even get out of bed, well pushing yourself to serve is only going to endanger you.

Serving should not be the first thing on your mind, your safety and well being should also be a priority. If you don’t feel like you can safely perform your duties then you need to be honest with yourself.

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Speak Up
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Sometimes, you just can’t avoid getting the latest bug in town, no matter what you do. The first thing you need to do is to talk to your Dom/me. They might very well tell you to stay in bed so that you can emerge a stronger slave when you’re done. And this also gives the Dominant a chance to say no to you and to say no to your germs. You might also find this starts a good conversation about whether sickness is a reason to cancel or to reschedule a session. Talk with your Dom/me about the symptoms you are having, careful not to over-exaggerate how you are feeling. This will allow the Dom/me to determine if certain activities they had planned will still be able to go on. For example, if you can’t breathe through your nose, a gag is going to be a bad idea. Take a minute or two to check in with your Dominant as soon as you realize that you’re sick – preferably before the session – so that you can both determine what needs to happen next.

A Dominant should always respect your opinion on such a matter. If you don’t feel like you can serve, then they should be more then happy to give you the rest you need and even offer to help you get back on the mend. If a Dom/me refuses to listen and is adamant about you serving while ill, then you need to take some time to consider if you want to continue being with such an unsympathetic person. Remember there is a difference between a slave driver and a selfish asshole. You are a human being and you deserve to be given that respect, especially during times of weakness.

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Do Your Best in the Scene
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If you end up going into the scene anyway with your sickness, the best advice is to make sure you’re doing your best. You will still need to do what your Dom/me wants you to do and while you might not feel 100%, this may also be a valuable lesson. Sometimes when slaves are pushed hard during times of illness, they can perform better than they might when they are well. Why is this? This is due to the fact that a slave who has to work harder is one that is often working harder than they might try when they are well and illness free. By showing your Dominant that you are willing to still fight through your sickness, you will also make a strong impression on your work ethic and on your submission to your Master or Mistress.

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Know Your Limits
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At the same time, if you are running a high fever or your stomach is upset, it might be a good idea to be clear as to what your limits are. If you simply are not well enough to go on, you need to be ready and you need to be willing to say this to your Dom/me, even if you’re in the middle of a scene. Speak up and let your Dominant know that you absolutely can not do anything more. This way, your Dom/me isn’t hurting you and you’re not hurting yourself by not speaking up. You’re not a machine, after all – no matter what you might think your role is.

A good slave is going to get sick and in these times, you can choose to push yourself harder than you might otherwise. While this is a good lesson, there may be times when you are unable to do anything more or even be in a scene. It happens. You’re human. And you can always make up for the scene when you’re feeling better.

=============================================================================

>>>Learn how to communicate better in a Dom/sub relationship go to ===> The BDSM Training Tutorial
=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by Master_Bishop | Filed Under female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

A Happy BDSM Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2011

I hope everybody gets to enjoy their Valentine’s Day in whatever kinky manner they enjoy. Valentine’s Day is all about showing and sharing your love, so don’t forget to take some time out of your busy schedule to do just that. It’s also a time for you to express your love for your partner in a way that feels natural and enjoyable for the both of you.

Just because its Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your kink as well. In fact creating that kinky environment with your partner is a great way to show them how much you care. While most people celebrate Valentine’s Day with chocolates and flowers, that doesn’t mean a good spanking or flogging isn’t a perfect way for you to show your love.

I also believe Valentine’s should be a reminder of how you should live your life with your partner everyday. Don’t wait for one special day to show your love, but express your love each and everyday you have with each other. Express it, show it, live it and that love will be returned to you. That love will also help to make your kinky life that much more intimate and exciting.

Far too many people are too shy and quiet about their feelings. Don’t be shy. Express your feelings and desires and you might just get what you want. Not just for Valentine’s Day but for the rest of your life.

Regards,

Master Bishop

Posted by admin | Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

Practicing Before A Scene

February 8, 2011

Before an actor goes onto a movie set or onto the stage, they will often spend weeks and months working on memorizing their lines and doing run throughs. This helps the actor be ready to perform perfectly for the audience and it will help to create a seamless performance. So, some BDSM couples begin to think that they need to practice ahead of time in order to make for perfect scenes. And while this practice does have its merits, you might want to think about why you feel you need to practice ahead of time and how this might impact the end result of your training sessions.

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What is Perfect?
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Sometimes, and especially when you’re new to BDSM (or anything), it can seem as though there is some sort of perfect ideal that you need to shoot for in the bedroom. The truth is that no Master or Mistress or slave is perfect – ever. If you see porn videos where it seems that way, you need to realize that they only keep the scenes that are done perfectly, but you haven’t seen all of the scenes where they forgot what they were doing or one of them dissolved into giggles. It happens to everyone. Instead of trying to be some sort of perfect BDSM partner, focus on the goals that you have set for your training and try to reach these – no matter what it looks like along the way.

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Losing Spontaneity and Energy
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When you practice scenes ahead of time or you script out everything that you’re doing, you tend to lose the energy of spontaneity. You go into the scene already knowing what comes next and this will cause you both to run through the motions in many cases. Because you might then be worried about doing things right, you will focus more on the order of the things you’re doing. You will then have troubles focusing on what you are doing since you’re just worried about missing a cue or moving to the proper side of the bench. The energy will also be strange since both people will be thinking about what they need to do next instead of sinking into the energy fo why they’re doing what they’re doing.

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Knowing What to Expect
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Slaves will especially suffer from practicing scenes ahead of time. Though they might be able to perfect what is expected of them, this might also cause them to have troubles with sinking into the subspace or feeling as though the Master or Mistress is training them. In a sense, they will be training themselves, not focusing on how to please their Dominant. Sure, that will be a part of it, but there’s something special about a slave who is on edge as they don’t know what is going to happen next. A slave who doesn’t know what to do needs to be completely present and attentive. They will need to put all of their lessons to the test in each session, helping them to develop more fully as a slave.

So, if you’re performing your BDSM ‘act’ for other people, it might make sense that you practice ahead of time. It is also a good idea to practice improving and fine toning you Dominant and submissive skills, such as spanking, flogging and bondage. When you’re alone in a training session with your partner, it makes more sense to do what you do when you do it because you want to do it – not because you’re aiming for any sort of porn-perfect scene. Jump into the scenes with an idea of what to do and then move into these scenes with energy, enthusiasm, and obedience. You will get it ‘perfect’ even when you don’t.

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>>>For more ways to get the most out of your kinks and fetishes visit ===> The BDSM Training Tutorial

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Tell Me what you think. Leave a comment below if you have something you want to say or some tips you would like to share.

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

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