Can BDSM Be Non-Erotic

March 24, 2011

One of the reasons why many couples begin to test out BDSM in their relationship is to see if they can add some spark to their sex life. But that is not the reason why all people get involved in the BDSM lifestyle. Many times, an individual might want to try out BDSM to see if they can handle the power struggle. They might simply want to hand over control to another person for a while to see what it’s like – without any sex in the process. While this might still have erotic qualities, it definitely doesn’t end up in the bedroom. Is this still BDSM?

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Remembering Your Definitions
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When you look at the term, BDSM, you might want to remember what it stands for: bondage, domination, submission (or sadism), and masochism. If you look around these terms, you don’t see the idea of eroticism. While many people may find these different sorts of roles and tools erotic, what you need to remember is that they’re not necessarily sexual. Just as you can like a person without having sex with them, you can have BDSM without any sort of sexual touch or movement. All you need is to have both partners be aware of what their goals are and what they will or will not do.

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The Joy of Losing Control
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Losing control is something many people enjoy as a sort of release from the outside pressures of the world. This is why you see many high-powered executives doing to Masters and Mistresses for some erotic sessions. They want to hand over the reins to someone else for a while. Even if there is no sex, there is also no need for them to do anything other than follow orders. For many people, this giving of control is also an act of trust in another person. Sometimes, when you’re unable to trust a lot of people in the world, handing over complete trust to someone who ties you up and who make you do things you would never do on your own is just what you need. This allows you to play out your fantasies in a safe and secure environment. You might very well have another partner, but they might not be into BDSM, so this other relationship gives you something that makes you feel complete in your sex life.

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How to Find a Non-Erotic Play Partner
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The trick with having BDSM not be erotic is to find a partner who is willing to play the role, but not go to the extreme of having sex with you. You need to be clear about what you want from the relationship and what you don’t want. It’s a good idea to make out a contract between you and the other person, helping to draw clear lines in what you want to happen when you’re together. Of course, it is also a good idea that you truly do know this other person and trust them so that you can be assured you’re not going to end up chained in someone’s basement forever. Talking to friends who might be able to recommend a good dominant partner is the best way to find someone reliable. They will also be able to relay the message that you’re not interested in sex.

When you want to try out BDSM, but you’re not interested in the sex part, you might want to talk to someone about exploring the power struggle, without the sex. While it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, BDSM can still be an exciting way to see what your limits are – and then to see how much farther you can take yourself.

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>>>To learn more about the BDSM lifestyle go to ===> The BDSM Training Tutorial
=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | 1 Comment 

Being the Best Slave in Public

March 17, 2011

While being a slave might be something you reserve for certain times in the bedroom, there will be times when your Mistress/Master wants to take you out in public (assuming you’ve been a good slave). And while it might not take the same shape as your slave sessions, you still need to be ready to prove your commitment to the pleasure and the pride of your Dom/me. To accomplish this task, you need to be the best slave possible whenever you are in public with your Master/Mistress. Though you might not be punished for wrongdoing when out on the town, you can be certain your Dom/me will not be pleased with a slave who misbehaves.

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What Does She Want?
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Before you leave for an outing in public, it might be a good idea to talk to your Dom/me about what they need and what they expect. You want to make sure you are clear about their expectations so that you can ensure you are doing everything they want. This is especially important when you have not been in public together or you do not have any preset agreements in place for these sorts of situations. Have your Dominant come up with a list of rules for you to follow and to memorize before the big day. This way, you will both know what is going to happen and what will be watched as the time progresses.

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Graceful and Polite are the Keys
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Though your Master/Mistress may not say these rules aloud, all Dominants want their slaves to be graceful and polite. This means you should move deliberately when you move and that you should be polite as possible to all that you meet. This is not a time to be cheeky or to be sarcastic. You are a representative of your Master/Mistress when you are out in public – every move you make reflects their training and reflects their decision to be with you. If you embarrass your Dom/me, you will not only cause troubles for yourself, but also for your Dominants reputation.

When you move from place to place, you should do so smoothly and without rushing. This will ensure that you look graceful and that you do not cause any unnecessary accidents. In addition, always call people by their proper names, especially when those names are requested. Remember names when they are given to you and be certain to ask your Dominant for permission if you unsure of what to do about something.

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Plan for Your Outing Ahead of Time
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It will help if you take some time on your own to prepare for your time with your Dom/me. You will already have a list of things you know you need to do, so you can start there. However, you might also want to practice in public on your own as though your Master/Mistress was beside you. This way, you can see what to do if things get complicated. For example, if someone approaches you to talk, how will you respond? Practicing on your own will allow you to work out any kinks before you are on your Dominant’s arm.

Being the best slave extends to circumstances when you are not tied up or screaming out in pain. You need to make sure the lessons you are taught in the dungeon – grace, humility, and control – are shown to the rest of the world when you are in it. The more respect you show in public, the more your Dom/me will be proud to have you as their submissive. A Dominant wants to see the lessons they has taught you be used in real life. Your Dom/me wants to be pleased with their work.

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>>>For more ways to get the most out of your submissive experience go to ===> The BDSM Training Tutorial
=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | 1 Comment 

Why Subs Need Random Tests

March 14, 2011

Every slave learns eventually, but when you’re not testing your slave as often as you should, they’re not going to hang onto a lot of the lessons. You need to make sure that your slave knows that you’re always watching them and that you’re always interested in seeing what you have taught them. Random tests are just the thing to make sure that your slave is being trained well and that they are going to continue to remember what you’ve taught them, even after the lessons are over.

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Random Test – Positions Check
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If you have taught your slave a number of positions, it’s a good idea to test them randomly on these movements, as they are often the first lesson to disappear if not used often. Most Dominants will avoid using these after the slave has hit a certain point, but they’re a simple and easy way to make sure that your slave is always thinking about what you want and is always able to deliver the things that you need from them. Have a series of at least ten positions that they should be able to get into on command. And once they can do it on command during random tests, they then need to make the positions perfect. This test alone can take a slave months to master.

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Random Test – Commands Check
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Having commands for your slave will also allow you to check on their training progress wherever you go. Have ten commands that you can use with your slave to see if they are listening to you and if they can follow your commands, even when they are busy doing something else. These commands should be as second nature as possible, not something the slave needs to think about. Once the slave has mastered the random testing of commands, then you can begin to time them to see how long it takes them to fulfill your wishes. Hint: the faster the better. You can also give these commands on the phone, in person, or in a public place for fun.

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Random Test – Service Check
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When your slave has been trained in how to clean a certain room of your home or how to clean your boots, this can be another more complicated random test to offer to them. See how they tackle a task for which they have not prepared and then see how they might then respond when you grade them on their performance. This is a great opportunity to see the enthusiasm of your slave, rather than how well they might clean up. After all, they might not do a perfect job, but if they are happy to do it, they will only get better with each opportunity you give to them. You can also then move the intensity of this random service check up by leaving your house as the slave is told to clean it from top to bottom in a certain period of time. How can your slave perform under pressure when you’re not around? That yields interesting results.

Random testing worked on you during school and now you can pass on these lessons to your slave. When they realize that you could ask them anything at any time, they are going to have to remember all of the lessons they’ve been taught and they might even choose to practice them when you’re not around. This will ensure that you are always in control of some parts of their mind, even when you’re not in a session together. And that’s just the way We like it, right?

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>>>For more ways to get the most out of your slave go to ===> The BDSM Slave Training Tutorial

=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training | Leave a Comment 

BDSM Is Not A Cure

March 3, 2011

One thing I hear all the time from people in the lifestyle or who want to enter into the lifestyle is that BDSM is some sort of cure-all for the woes of their life. Yes, BDSM is fun and can be safe, but it’s not going to make you younger or happier. You may have a lovely time in the dungeon and you might even enjoy pushing your boundaries and edges the entire time, but you will not cure things that happen outside of the bedroom by heading into the bedroom. The endorphin rush and that great session buzz will only last so long. The feelings you had before you walked in the scene will come back, no matter how great of a slave or Master/Mistress you are. If you think BDSM is a cure, read on.

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BDSM Will Not Improve a Relationship
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Some people think that if they just do a few more kinky things in their relationship, things will be happier. While you might have lost some of the spice in your relationship, BDSM is not the way to bring the magic back into your partnership. Instead, you need to look for what is happening in your relationship and talk to your partner about how they can work with you to ensure you are heading in a more positive direction. BDSM might be fun to add to a good relationship, but when your relationship is on the rocks, adding a scene that involves having complete trust in your partner (when you don’t) is not the best of ideas.

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BDSM Will Not Cure Mental Woes
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Others who have general trust issues or depression or low self esteem might think that BDSM will help them create a more solid sense of themselves. This happens often with new slaves who think that being obedient to a Master or a Mistress will help them feel better about themselves. After all, if they can please one person, they must be a good person. This sort of thinking is not accurate and mental issues are best worked on with the help of a trained therapist. This professional will be able to make sure that you work through your mental problems and that you don’t bring them into the bedroom, where they can’t be solved.

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BDSM Will Not Bring Happiness
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Just like anything in life, the only key to happiness is the way you think about your life. Looking outside of yourself for answers, like thinking BDSM will make you happy, is not a good way to help your life. Instead, you need to understand what is truly troubling you and work on resolving those issues. You may need to talk to a professional therapist, take some much needed vacation time, spend more time connecting with your friends and family, or spend more time focused on you and your health. What you don’t need to do is bring another complicated factor into your life. BDSM is many things, but it can not make you happy when you are not.

BDSM is not a cure for the things that ail you in your life. When you have issues that are coming up for you, don’t head to the dungeon to work them out. You need to think for yourself how you can manage your problems and then enjoy the time you spend with your partner in the bedroom. Life isn’t always easy or pretty, and while BDSM might be enjoyable, it can not take the place of personal self development. You’re not in the dungeon all the time, so you need to realize that your problems follow you everywhere, especially when you’re not taking steps to deal with them.

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

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