I Want My Boyfriend To Be More Dominant

August 21, 2011

Hi Master Bishop,

I am, and My Master, are new to this lifestyle. We enjoy it very much, but I have a few questions. My Master and I have been together for a few months. In the beginning it was very exciting. However, I feel myself wanting to mis-behave to get My Master to be more involved. I feel I am more submissive than He is dominant. I know He has it in Him to be more dominant. I’m trying to provoke a more dominant Master in Him by deliberately talking back or doing things I know He doesn’t approve of. Which is not something a slave should do, but I’m not getting the same thrill as I did in the beginning. What should I do? How much defiance is too much? How much defiance is acceptable for a sub? The service you two are providing to new people is very helpful, and I hope to hear from you soon. Thank you.

-LadySub

============================

Master Bishop’s Thoughts

If there was one question I see far too often, it’s this one from submissives – how can I add more thrill to the relationship? Let’s start off by looking at what your expectations for your BDSM relationship are.

Right at the start of any relationship, you and your Master should have sat down to talk about what you both expect from your time together. Whether this includes a long training schedule or it includes a 24/7 lifestyle of dominance and submission, you need to be clear about what you both want and what you can both give to the other person.

The truth is that porn movies and BDSM stories make it seem so much more romantic to have a slave trapped in a cage all the time. But in real life, slaves have jobs, Masters have families, and life is not just about being in service to another. Now, if you have the resources to do this, then you are one of the lucky few. For the rest, their Dom/sub life must be adjusted around everyday life. I only bring this up because this is typically where things go wrong for relationships.

Many submissives believe that their real life should be exactly how they have fantasized it for so many years. You have to remember your fantasies are you, that is why they are so good. You know exactly what it is you like. In real life, your partner can never match your fantasies because they can’t read your mind and will never know exactly how you want things every minute of every day.

Therefore you must talk about what you both want from the relationship. Do you need to be trained? What kind of training do you want, sexual, house service, etc? Do you want more bondage or pain in your sessions? These are all things you need to talk about in great detail, outside of the bedroom. You might find that since your Master is relatively new to the BDSM relationship, he might not be ready to take things to a higher level of training or he might not even know there is a higher level of training. He might not even know you want to him to be more Dominant then he is being. Also since he is new, you must be patient, let him start off slowly so that he can figure out what works for him. Remember there are two people in this relationship and the Dominant’s needs and desires are just as important as the submissive’s.

At the same time, I get the sense you are trying to top from the bottom, so to speak. It sounds like you are trying to control your relationship, you want things when you want them and exactly how you want them. The point of being submissive is to give up that control and find pleasure in the service of your Dominant. Not to expect that everything should be done the way you want it and when you don’t get it, try to manipulate your Dominant into giving it to you.

Now, I understand that you want more, but if you’re not happy with your partner and you haven’t talked to him about it, you really can’t complain. Just as with any relationship, you can’t expect the other person to read your mind. You need to talk about it, see what they think, and then work on the concern together. Communication is essential.

Right now, I also want to tell you that trying to get punishment from your Master shows that you aren’t clear what your role as a submissive is. While you might enjoy the sensations, you’re not being trained when you manipulate. If you were my slave, I would not punish you physically at all. I would send you away to make you think about why you want to be a submissive in the first place. If you truly wanted to serve, you would do what your Master wants.

If you simply want to be spanked, you don’t have to be a submissive or be with a Master to get that sort of play. Stop and think about your role right now. It sounds like you might need to figure out what being a submissive means to you. Do you take pleasure in servicing your Dominant’s desires and punished when you do not comply or do you just enjoy spanking, flogging and the other forms of kinky play?

Understanding your desires and communicating those desires with your Dominant is essential for the both of you to create the type of relationship you both want.

=============================================================================
>>>For more ways to enhance a relationship between a Dominant and submissive go to ===> The Dom/sub Relationship Tutorial
=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

P.P.S. If you’d like to send U/us a Question that you would like
answered, have a Success Story you would like to share, or would
just like to send U/us a Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Tell U/us what’s working for you before you ask your question.
This helps other people to see what’s working, so please be specific.

2) At the end of the email, give U/us your initials and tell U/us
where you’re from.

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under female submissive training | Leave a Comment 

Why Quality Bondage Gear Makes A Difference

August 15, 2011

Its true that making a submissive’s training uncomfortable and painful, can help to focus their mind and teach them how to properly obey your commands. You must first remember, that there is a good kind of uncomfortable and a bad kind of uncomfortable. For example, giving your submissive a hard spanking or nice caning is a good kind of uncomfortable that will cloud your submissive’s mind, but not distract them from hearing you. This gives them an opportunity to learn to calm and focus their mind.

On the other hand, poor quality bondage gear is a prime example of a bad training scenario that is uncomfortable. Poor quality bondage gear continuously bites, scraps and rubs against a submissive’s skin, becoming a painfully distraction that never goes away. Think of an itch that you can never scratch. At first, its a little annoying, but as time goes on, its the only thing you can think about. In fact, it doesn’t matter what else is going on around you, all you can think about is scratching that itch. This is exactly what happens when low quality gear is used in training. It distract a submissive from hearing you and being able to learn from your Dominance. Since they will be bound by this gear for extended periods of time, this distraction will become both mentally and physically overwhelming and exhausting.

If you want a submissive to pay attention to your commands and appreciate your training, you need to use quality bondage gear. The type of gear that a submissive loves being restrained with and represents your Dominance to its fullest potential.

Watch this short video to learn the 5 things you must look for in the type of gear you incorporate into your training.

BDSM Toy Shop Grand Opening

To learn more about what makes quality bondage gear go to ====> The BDSM Toy Shop

Regards,
Master Bishop

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

Should a Slave Be Afraid?

August 8, 2011

In the BDSM relationship, adrenaline seems to be as valuable a tool as any whip or chain. When a slave is afraid, they are going to be more sensitive and they are also more likely to make mistakes, helping the Master or Mistress have some behaviors to train, while also helping to excite the Master or the Mistress who is turned on by the need to control. That said, there have been some discussions about whether true fear for one’s life and well being is a good idea in the BDSM relationship. After all, you don’t want to feel as though you should cower at a Dominant’s feet, do you? And a Master or Mistress doesn’t want a slave to be truly afraid of them, do they?

***************************************************
The Power of Fear
***************************************************

Fear is a powerful emotion and the most basic emotion that a human has. When we are afraid of anything, we are launched into the most basic of responses – fight or flight. We can choose to either fight what we are afraid of or we can choose to flee. In the BDSM context, the slave might have every urge to fight and to flee, but they might not be able to whether they are restrained or they are told not to fight or to flee. This causes a dramatic amount of tension in a scene and it can make the hearts of both the slave and the Mistress or Master beat all the faster. Fear also causes a slave to want to do anything in order to avoid the thing they fear: pain, restraint, etc. Thus, fear can be a powerful tool for training. As being able to avoid fear is a great motivator.

***************************************************
The Danger of Fear
***************************************************

However, the main concern with fear is that some slaves are not going to be able to handle these feelings. They might lose themselves in the fear and begin to suffer emotional problems as a result. A Master or a Mistress will want to make sure their slave is able to handle high stress situations which will involve fear or they might end up with a slave who is broken more than they are obedient. And that’s not the goal of slave training. The goal is to train a slave to be able to have the feelings of fear they have, but then they still can work through them in order to do what they are expected to do. When this is not possible, the training can falter and fail miserably.

***************************************************
The Balance of Fear
***************************************************

The feeling of fear is based on the idea that something unexpected might happen. As a Mistress or a Master develops a scene, they do not want to include anything that the slave does not want and as a result, the slave should not be afraid when they walk into the dungeon. They might be afraid of the pain they might face or of not pleasing their Master or Mistress, but they will have TRUST that their owner is not going to actually harm them. Does trust develop overnight? No, but the owner should be sure to show the slave that they will only do what they have agreed to do within the slave contact which has been developed.

Fear is a natural response, but it can be damaging in a BDSM relationship when it is actually based on the idea that the Master or the Mistress is going to harm the slave. When you have clear boundaries and you have safety words, chances are good the slave will never feel fear, only excitement and anticipation.

=============================================================================
>>>For more ways to enhance the intensity of your Dom/sub relationship go to ===> Dominant/submissive Training Lessons
=============================================================================

Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

The New BDSM Toy Shop

August 1, 2011

After years of searching and testing BDSM gear, W/we are proud to present the official BDSM Training Academy Toy Shop. This is the first Toy Shop designed and created solely for the Dominant and submissive lifestyle. Its frustrating trying to find quality BDSM gear. Nobody understands that more then W/we do. W/we have spent more then 8 years and tons of money, testing and trying different gear in an effort to find gear that W/we like.

Instead of wasting tons of money, years of your life and scrolling through hundreds of crappy products in an effort to find something you might like, have a look through the BDSM Toy Shop. It won’t take long, because W/we only offer high quality gear.

Whether your Dominant or submissive there is something there meant just for you.

Enter The BDSM Toy Shop

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

Dominant Training

   
  • Discover the secrets to creating the submissive of your dreams

  • Step Inside To Unleash your true dominant nature and take your slave training to the next level.


    • Enter Dominant Training

     

Submissive Training

 

  • Make your Dominant proud. Learn how to become an obedient submissive

  • Crawl inside and learn the secrets to beginning your bdsm training journey to becoming Their perfect slave.


    • Enter Slave Training

    Mall

    • Only high quality bdsm gear and sex toys solely designed to enhance your pleasure. Watch as your experiences become far more intense and powerful then you ever imagined.