Learning From Dom/sub Training Mistakes

October 20, 2011

Let’s face it – whether we want to admit it or not, we all make mistakes – in and out of the dungeon. And while it might seem better to simply avoid mistakes in the first place, it also seems like it would be a good idea to learn from the mistakes you do make. Whether you’re a Dominant or a submissive, you can learn from the training mistakes that you make, which will help you to develop your own skills in the dungeon, even if you don’t think you have room to improve – or even if you think it’s the problem of the other person (and it generally isn’t).

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Determine Where Things Might Have Gone Wrong
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You can’t correct a mistake if you’re not sure where the mistake took place. You need to think back over the training session to try to pinpoint the exact moment when the mistake took place and then write this down. It might just be a one time thing, in which case, it can help to simply think the mistake over in your mind. But if you have been feeling like your BDSM has been ‘off’ for a while, it can help to keep a daily journal. If you begin to notice that certain mistakes continue to happen over and over, you will want to make sure that you’re starting to learn from these mistakes. If this should make sense, you might want to call out the mistake as it happens in a scene if the other person doesn’t understand what you’re trying to describe to them. This is a little jarring, but highly effective if you’re having troubles communicating the issue.

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Figure Out the Ideal Scenario Sans Mistakes
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Once you have determined where the training session went wrong, it’s a good idea to talk this out with your partner. You will be able to think out the problem between two people, which is going to be far more effective than just with one person. You two can talk out what you wished would have happened and how you could have avoided the problem to begin with – if that is possible. The main idea is to talk out the problem outside of the bedroom so you can look at the issue objectively and you can begin to see whether something needs to be done or if this was just something that happened and doesn’t need more discussion.

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Training Mistakes That Continue
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But when things continue to happen, the same mistakes again and again, it might be better to stop a scene when they are happening. At that point, both partners will want to try to problem solve the situation. You can then begin to correct the issue as it’s happening and if the solution doesn’t work, try something else. While this might not make your scene as powerful as it might normally be, many partners learn better from actually correcting the mistake mid-scene rather than correcting the mistake in a discussion long after you have separated from each other. Sometimes you can just forget exactly what happens unless you are in the heat of the moment.

Mistakes happen and they happen frequently. But these mistakes don’t have to seem like they’re a sign of bad training – far from it. By learning more about how the two of you work together in a training session, you will be able to learn what you need to learn and then modify your training to work for YOU. And in the long run, this is going to make you the best possible Dominant or the best possible submissive.

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Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
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Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

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Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Male Submissive Training | 2 Comments 

Dominatrix Question: I’m Afraid Of Saying The Wrong Thing

October 16, 2011

Question: He is one of those subs who likes to test his boundaries and either talk back or be disobedient intentionally to receive punishment. I usually resort to spanking. But I don’t think this is entirely successful because I know this is what he wants. However he does respond better to verbal degradation and does actually obey after some whipping when it becomes too much. I don’t mind the verbal degradation but I’m unsure how to do this successfully because I don’t usually talk to people this way, especially not him in our everyday relationship. I suppose I fear saying the wrong thing. So my question is how should I go about perfecting my skills of verbal degradation and what things should I avoid saying?

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One thing that strikes me about this question is that there are actually two issues going on. One, you have a slave who is being disobedient on purpose in order to get a reaction from you. That is a common situation with new slave and Mistress relationships, but it seems to be one that is trickier to control. Before going on to your main question, you should stop to think about why your slave believes they can ‘get away’ with this disobedience. Do they know that they are being punished during the times that you spank them? Do they realize that they are not pleasing you? It might be a good idea to stop and to talk with your slave about how they can please you, since this sort of punishment that they coax from you is wasting your time.

In fact, I would even go so far as to tell your slave that the next time you feel they are trying to incite spanking from you that you will end the session and send them away. They will not be allowed to return until they are truly sorry for their disobedience and until they can admit they were trying to manipulate you. This is simply uncalled for and not a part of the Mistress and slave relationship.

To your main question, when you’re concerned about saying something ‘wrong’ in a BDSM scene, that makes me wonder if you’ve had a discussion with your slave about their limits for humiliation. You’re absolutely right, there might be words or phrases that are off limits for them, and if you don’t ask them what they are, then you will never know that you’ve crossed a line until you have.

Since you realize that verbal degradation is an effective punishment technique, you will want to stop and talk with your slave outside of your sessions about what the limits are. Have your slave write down the phrases and words they want to hear, as well as the ones they NEVER want to hear. This will allow you to have clear boundaries to follow, and if the slave becomes offended by anything you’ve said, you can point to the fact that you were given permission to use those words.

BDSM relationships are exciting, but they should not include guesswork. Having open and clear communication with your slave will allow you both to get the most out of your time together, without having messy issues to clean up afterward. Before going into any new sort of play, you need to stop and have a conversation. After all, it’s not just about what your slave wants, but it can also be about what you’re not comfortable saying. Everyone gets a say in what happens – including you. But when you talk with each other, you can figure out a middle ground that makes you both happy and leaves you both satisfied with the quality of your time together.

Have a talk. You both deserve to get what you want from your scenes and from the training sessions.

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Getting in touch with your Mistress side takes a little practice, and a lot of knowledge. For more information on how to release your inner Dominatrix go to Mistress Training Tutorial

To learn the secrets to unleashing your Dominatrix voice check out How To Talk Like A Dominatrix

Regards,

Mistress Brianne

support@discoverbdsmslavetraining.com

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Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

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The Beauty Of Corsets

October 7, 2011

Leather Corset

Leather Corset

While no one knows the exact origins of the corset, some evidence has shown simple corsets were being wore in Ancient Greece. The use of corsets became more evident around the 16th century but did not become popular and a common article of clothing until the early to mid 1800’s. It’s purpose was to cinch a waist to help form the extremely small waist desired on women of the period and enhance the feminine curves. It was quickly discovered that some women enjoyed the sensation of being ‘held’ or ‘hugged’ and it was believe that a corset could also improve back problems. While not an everyday article of clothing today, corsets still play an important role in most Dominant and submissive relationships.

Since it typically takes time and effort to get into and out of a corset the simple act of dressing or undressing can take on a whole new aspect, and is a large part of many couples foreplay. For the submissive being dressed in a corset by their Dom/me, they can feel the gradual increase in control with a sense of comfort in the restriction. The submissive dressing a Dominatrix in a corset, can pleasure of serving their Dominant and getting them ready for the session ahead. A perfect warmup to any Dom/sub session.

Brocade & Leather Corset

Brocade & Leather Corset


When wearing a corset outside of the bedroom, the wearer will need to be more careful of how they are moving in their day to day lives. This acts as a constant reminder of the slave’s position in the relationship and can also create a sensation of constant control that can be an everyday task or a special request from the Dominant.

In addition, corsets are an accepted form of everyday wear at certain events, so the wearing of one can be a public display of the slave’s obedience to a Dominant, even if it is not expressed to others that are present. A slave that wears a corset out to a club, for example, will need to move in a dainty manner as well as be easily controlled by others who might touch or hold them.

For Domme’s a corset is perfect for enhancing a woman’s shapely curves and accentuating the beautiful lines that make a submissive drool. Not many submissives can resist a Dominatrix in a beautiful corset. In fact, the corset has become a staple of both the Dominatrix and submissive wardrobe because of the elegant shape and vast variety of designs.

Leather & Brocade Underbust Corset

Leather & Brocade Underbust Corset

With corsets, you can add a special glamorous touch to your bedroom play or to your public appearances. In any case, corsets can be used as simply decoration or for more intense play scenes. With each movement, the slave is reminded of their corset and the control that it is inflicting on them. For the Dominatrix, it radiates her beauty and power.

The one problem with corsets can be the price. One corset can range from $350 – $800. This means that most people only have one corset sitting in their closet. Variety tends to be the spice of life when it comes to Dom/sub sessions. Pulling out the same corset day after day can become boring quickly. Stop spending a fortune on corsets and limiting your fetish fashions. Have a look at O/our selection of Beautiful and Elegant Corsets. This way you can have a number of different corsets within your wardrobe, so you can bring a different flavor to each session you have.

Click Here for Dominant And Submissive Corsets

For plus sized corsets have a look at O/Our Diva Corsets

Regards,
Mistress Brianne

Soft Touch Vinyl Corset

Soft Touch Vinyl Corset

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Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

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Posted by admin | Filed Under Bondage Gear, Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training, female submissive training, Fetish Clothing, Male Submissive Training | Leave a Comment 

Sensory Stimulation (vs. deprivation)

October 5, 2011

One of the basic BDSM scenes that you can do is to keep a slave from knowing what is happening. This allows the sensations to be more concentrated and it can cause the slave to be more in tune with the practices they are trying to learn. However, sensory stimulation is another good practice that allows and encourages a slave to focus on their actions without being able to tune out of the lesson. When all of their senses are engaged, can they still focus on the instructions given to them? This is what a Master or Mistress will attempt to find out.

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More Noise
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The scene should begin with loud music, almost deafening loud music that allows the slave the opportunity to focus on what they need to hear. They will need to find a way to tune out the music and listen to their Master or Mistress. The louder the music becomes, the more they are going to falter in their instructions until they realize just how important it is for them to focus on the voice that trains them. Noises can also include things like paddles and other instruments of pleasure and pain, allowing them to create a world that is loud and a world that is focused only on the voice that tells them what to do.

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More Sensations
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The more sensations that a scene can include, the better for the training of a slave. The slave should be subjected to pain and to pleasure, as this causes them to begin to blur the lines between them. The slave will begin to see that they can suffer and enjoy the suffering, even if and when they think they can’t take any more. The slave should have long periods of pain, punctuated by smaller moments of pleasure that make the pain more bearable and more effective. The body should also be looked at as a series of places where these sensations can be delivered, allowing the Master or Mistress many opportunities to begin to see what their slave can handle and what they will do when they are challenged. The slave might also be asked to stay in positions without the help and support of bondage, allowing them to be completely a part of the scene without being able to relax into a certain binding.

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More Interaction
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The Master or Mistress might also want to include more instructions for the slave in this sort of scene. The slave should be asked questions, told to repeat things, etc. You might want to have the slave memorize a certain poem that is long and detailed, helping them have a focus point during all of the sensations and the noise. They should try to repeat this memorized passage at different points, allowing them to connect to another experience in the midst of so many others. The more that the slave is brought into the experience and told to interact, the more their brain will have to focus in order to please their Master or Mistress.

The more sensations that are brought into a scene, the more challenging the scene will become for both Master and Mistress. This allows for training for both people and that will allow for more results in a shorter period of time. Note that this sort of training is not something that should necessarily be done at the first stages of a relationship since it can be overwhelming for the slave. Instead, this should be a scene that is worked up to and used as a final test to move into even more intense training schedules.

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>>>Push your slave to their limits, learn the secrets to Slave Training
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Regards,

Master Bishop

support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

================================================================

Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Posted by admin | Filed Under Dominant Male Training, Dominatrix Training | Leave a Comment 

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