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What Do You See When You Look At This?

November 20, 2014

1

Butt Plug Tree

Standing 79 feet tall and anchored into place at the Place Vendome in Paris.  The artist has created a piece of work that has the whole word buzzing.  The question is, what do you see and think of when you look at this piece?

While some people may see a simplified version of a tree or with Christmas fast approaching a Christmas tree, many people instantly recognize a most beloved sex toy; The Butt Plug.

This piece was created by the world famous American artist Paul McCarthy, who is known for pushing boundaries and violating taboos.  Well there are many people who are offended by this piece of art work and some have gone as far as deflating the art piece called “The Tree” by McCarthy and cut the supporting cables.  So there will be no butt plug Christmas tree for December, as McCarthy has decided not to re-inflate his art.

What do you think do you consider this art?  Do you like it or not?  How would you like to have one of these in your house for Christmas?  Is it ok for people to vandalize artwork they may disagree with? Is it ok for artists to create works of art and display them so publicly when they know they are going to offend some people?

What do you think?  I’d love to hear what all of you think about this, feel free to leave your comments below.

Resource:

http://time.com/3525271/parisian-sex-toy-christmas-tree-butt-plug/

 

Dom/me Question: How Do You Keep Things Fresh For Your Sub

November 10, 2014

0

How do you keep things new/fresh and keep your sub guessing? The only thing I can think of is to keep practicing rope bondage. Other than that I have my list of 10-12 fetishes that I do. But when you have done those fetishes multiple times before with a sub, what do you do? It’s especially difficult when you are not romantically involved with the sub. Any information would be appreciated.

Anonymous


Master Bishop’s Opinion

Over time, if you’re a Dominant for long enough, you will have done everything there is to be done. You will use all the toys in the dungeon, you will play out all the scenes you can think of, and you will have tested all of your sub’s limits. It’s just a fact of life when you’re in the Dominant role.

So, I would like you to think about the way you’re dominating a bit differently.

Think less about being new and innovative and start thinking about how you can train your slave. Right now, I’m getting the sense you’re simply putting your submissive into situations where fetish play is used, but I’m not hearing that the submissive has learned anything during the process.

I would strongly encourage you to think about what you want your sub to do and how you want your sub to be. Create a list of goals you want your submissive to reach, and then sit your submissive down and discuss these ideas with them.  Make sure you both agree about how you would like to train your submissive.  Once you both agree, you can then begin to craft sessions that work on these goals.

I’ll give you some examples. Perhaps your sub doesn’t use certain positions in your training. Teach them a lengthy number of positions and use these during scenes to see if the sub has been practicing and is willing to please you in this way.

Or you could increase the rapidity of the pain you inflict or you can change the tempo of the things you do. All of these things will keep a sub guessing about what might happen next, but if you don’t have a reason for doing what you’re doing, you’re going to have troubles figuring out what to do.

Teaching is the key. You teach the slave about positions, commands, responses, how to hold their head, etc. Together, come up with a list of things the sub will learn, and then you can come up with scenes in which they will be tested on these tasks. As you will notice when you move into this sort of interaction, the slave will spend time learning things and it will challenge them to be focused and engaged.

You can also begin to take away things they are used to, i.e. some of the fetish play you describe. Take it away for a while until they have learned the things you want them to learn. They will start to realize they need to do more in order to serve you. They will realize they are a sub and that their desires need to be earned instead of just expecting to receive it whenever they want.

Other ideas you can use to keep sessions more interesting:

  • Write out a list of how you would like a specific task performed, for example serving tea, cleaning the living room or preparing dinner. Then sit back and watch your submissive perform the task.  Using a clipboard, make notes of any mistakes they make while performing the task, such as care, attitude, whether they follow the instructions on how it should be done and in what order, etc.
  • If your sub masters these tasks see how well they do performing the same task with their hands tied, or their feet shackled.
  • Teach your sub to keep their poise and grace while transitioning between different positions.
  • If your sub is in a place where they have already learned everything and they have already proven himself or herself to be highly skilled, then maybe you can have them train another slave. This will create a new environment in which they have to apply what they have learned in a challenging way. (Of course, if this is not a part of your agreements, then skip this entirely.)

Essentially every lesson or task can be made more difficult and the more difficult something is the more your submissive will have to concentrate.  This will even make tried old sessions seem new again as they realize that they haven’t truly mastered what you have taught them.  

Now, if YOU’RE feeling bored with what you’re doing, you need to start getting out more to other BDSM events and communities. You need to reach out to see what you can learn and what other Dominants have to teach you. Or you need to take a break from what you’re doing, as everyone can get burned out, even doing things they love.

In the end, you can also remind your sub of their goal in the dungeon: to please you. When you remind them you want more from them, they will not focus on the fact that you’ve done this scene a hundred times before.

They will simply focus on the fact that they always have more to do in order to keep their Dominant happy.

Regards,

Master Bishop

================================================================

Copyright 2008-2014 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

 

Be Careful For Halloween

October 31, 2014

0

PlaySafeHalloween

I wanted to wish everybody a Happy Halloween.  I know this is the favorite time of year for many people in the kinky community, so have fun and enjoy yourself.  At the same time, please be careful and make sure all your play tonight (like every other night) is safe and consensual.

Enjoy your special night

Happy Halloween

Regards,

Master Bishop
BeCarefulInTheDark

BDSM Zipper String Method

October 17, 2014

1

Creating a new toy for your playroom can be an exciting way to change things up and to save money on your BDSM shopping list. The zipper string is a fun addition and it can certainly make the slave jump when they realize that putting on the clothespins is just the beginning of their new pain adventure. This is a low cost toy that will add hours of fun to your next training session, and you might end up making more than one in order to create the most intense effect during a scene.

Supplies You’d Need

(more…)

All you need to create a zipper string are some clothespins and some string. You can find these items at any craft store, and even at your local grocery store in some cases. If you want to create a more intense effect, you can use clamps instead of clothespins, though these will be much more painful and they might not give the best results on a slave who is new to this sort of play. It might be painful and even damaging, so sticking with regular clothespins is best. If you want to give a slave a bit more breathing room with the clothespins, it might be helpful to glue some sort of soft fabric into the pin edges, as this will make the putting on and taking off processes a little smoother. In time and in training, you can remove those softer areas.

Making the Zipper String

To make the zipper string, all you need to do is to thread the string through the middle of the clothespins. Once the string is through one pin, knot it so that the string makes the pin stay in one place. It might take more than one knot to be certain that they will not move, depending on the string that you choose. You might also want to use super glue to make the bonds even tighter. Then take the next length of string and attach the next clothespin. And continue from there. You can use as many clothespins as you like, though it can help to start with about four to seven as these will give you a good ripping effect. In time, you can make longer zipper strings, helping to extend the experience and the pins can then be placed on more parts of the slave’s body.

Zipper String On The Go

Don’t feel like making a zipper string before a scene? No problem, you really don’t have too. In fact, many times its easier to just add the string while you are placing the clothespins onto your submissive.

Simply figure out where you want to add the pin onto your submissive. Open the pin and slide your string into the center, then wrap the string around one of the pins before closing the pin on the string and your submissive’s flesh. The pin will squeeze the string keeping it in place and when you pull the string to zip all the clothespins off, the loop of the string will tighten around the clothespin to ensure the string does not slip out of the pins.

How to Use the Zipper String

Anyone can easily use a zipper string in a BDSM scene. A slave might be asked to present themselves to the Master or Mistress and the clothespins are then applied to the skin. These should be lined up in as straight a line as possible, often from the bottom of the ribs to the breasts or along the back or inner thighs. Once the pins are in place, the slave might be allowed to feel the sensations, and they may not remove them until the Master or Mistress is ready to do so.

To remove the zipper string, the Master or Mistress can pull the end of the string quickly or slowly, depending on the sensations they want to encourage in their slave. Both are very painful, though some slaves report that the slower pulling is harder, while the faster pulls are more intense as the feeling surprises them. A Master or Mistress might also choose to whip or flog the clothespins until they come off the slave’s body, which is another level of pain.

The zipper string can be made up and even presented to the slave to put on their own body, and then they ask their Master or Mistress to remove the pins when the time is right.

Regards,

Master Bishop

================================================================

Copyright 2008-2014 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Kink No Longer A Mental Disorder

October 6, 2014

0

If you have an interest in BDSM, I’m sure at one point or another you have heard the mentioning of the “Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM).  This is essentially the bible of the mental health professional in the United States, essentially it is used to classify mental disorders.  In this manual there are a list of mental disorders known as “paraphilias”

A paraphilias is considered a mental disorder because an individual is sexually aroused by an object, activity or person that is not able to give back any affection.  Up until 1974, homosexuality was included in the list of paraphilias.

Currently the disorders associated with paraphilias include but are not limited to:

  • Pedophilia – wanting to have sex with and/or sexual arousal from small children
  • Necrophilia – wanting to have sex with and/or sexual arousal from corpses
  • Voyeurism – becoming sexually aroused from spying on others without their knowledge
  • Frotteurism – becoming sexually aroused from rubbing against strangers

Until very recently, many BDSM activities were included under this group of mental disorders, including but not limited too:

  • Sadism – becoming sexually aroused from inflicting pain on another individual
  • Masochism – becoming sexually aroused from receiving pain
  • Fetishism – Non-sexual objects arousing an individual sexually (ie. shoes)

However, professionals and researchers continue to debate what would classify a sexual interest as a mental disorder.  Some issues being debated:

  • Is the interest/activity the only way the individual can become sexually aroused
  • Is it mentally ill if all parties involved are consenting
  • Is there any distress by the individual about their interest/activities

It would seem that good things always come from open communication as the American Psychiatric Association has removed BDSM and kinky sex from being an indicator of a disorder in the new edition of DSM-V. This means that just because you may like BDSM, you are not automatically diagnosed or assumed to have a mental disorder as it was once believed. Instead kinky and/or sexual interests outside of the normal are still considered paraphilias. A paraphilic disorder will be considered if people who have a need for sex and/or are sexually aroused from someone who does not consent and/or has a need to intentionally harm themselves and/or others.

As stated in the DSM-V “A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention.”

As well as “In contrast, if they declare no distress, exemplified by anxiety, obsessions, guilt or shame, about these paraphilic impulses, and are not hampered by them in pursuing other personal goals, they could be ascertained as having masochistic sexual interest but should not be diagnosed with a sexual masochism disorder.”

While this may be a great start, it truly is only the beginning. Due to BDSM and kink being automatically linked to such horrific and terrible sex crimes such as pedophilia and being considered an automatic diagnosis for a mental disorder for so long, has truly stigmatized anyone who participates in such activities in society. This common belief that has been taught for so long to society will not go away overnight. Even with the DSM-V revisions, I still know of people fighting custody battles and have genuine fears that their desires may be used against them. Most people in society don’t know about the DSM or the revisions. All they know is what they have been taught for many years.

Lets all work together in showing the rest of society that this part of us is not our entirety. It is only part of a very healthy, kind, generous, loving, smart and complex individual just like themselves. Lets put our best foot forward and be a shinning example of what a loving consensual BDSM relationship can look like so they realize that there really is nothing to fear. Help spread the word that BDSM is not abuse, a crime, a mental disorder and/or only found in the mind of a psychopath.

On a side note, I think the one fact that truly needs to be debated, which lies at the core definition of paraphilias and was the reason homosexually was removed from the list. Paraphilias is a condition when someone is aroused by something that can not return that affection. My partner who participates with me in our BDSM activities is capable of returning my affections. They are the one that sexually arouse me. The activities we perform and participate in are fun and exciting but they are meaningless without the love and participation of my partner.

For Example:

I don’t spank My partner because the spanking arouses Me. I spank my partner because of the physiological response it creates. When spanking, there is a large nerve that passes through the ass and carries on to the genitals. By stimulating the buttock with spanking, you can in fact stimulate the genitals. With each strike a signal radiates down the nerve, not to mention the physical vibrations that also carry on to the genital region. There is also a large artery that passes through the buttock and into the genitals. With each spank, more blood is pumped into the butt, this means more blood gets pumped into the genitals as well. More blood causes an increase in arousal. Therefore the body’s own chemistry creates even greater arousal than what might be created from traditional foreplay. Do we all not want to turn our partner on more?

Is using the body’s own physiological conditions a mental disorder? Or is it just another way to show your partner affection and receive that affection in return, which is the exact opposite of a paraphilias.

Let me know what you think below. Do you feel there is still a stigma around people involved in kink and BDSM? How has BDSM affected your life in dealing with the rest of society?

I’d love to hear you all.

Regards,

Paul Bishop

 

Resources:

https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/dsm-v-revision-project/dsm-v-program-page.html

http://www.psychiatry.org/practice/dsm

http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia

http://www.sodahead.com/living/changes-in-dsm-5—a-new-definition-for-bdsm/question-3441287/?link=ibaf&q=bdsm+DSM-V

 

================================================================

Copyright 2008-2014 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

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