Slave Resolutions
January 25, 2012
Whether you’re a new submissive for your Master/Mistress, or you’ve been in your BDSM relationship for a while, everyone can improve. If you’ve been wondering how you can better serve your Master/Mistress, you’re already on the right track. As a slave, you need to always think about how you can do more and how you can be more in your Dominant’s eyes. With these New Year resolutions, you can begin to change the way you act in your position as a slave, and this will boost your slave training. (And make Master much happier about your progress.)
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Push Yourself Harder
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If you haven’t been pushing yourself harder in your training sessions, why not make this the year that you do? When you push yourself and you allow yourself to experience more pain and you focus more on what you need to do in the scene, you will begin to see that you CAN do more than you think you can. You might be able to handle more spanking, more caning, and more bondage. Try to see how much further you can push yourself and you might realize that you’re stronger than you think you are. You can be an even BETTER slave when you stop making excuses for not being as good as your Master wants you to be.
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Speak Up When You’re in Pain
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Some slaves are the strong silent types, the ones that never complain. And while they might be a dream for some Dominants, the truth is that they’re miserable. If you’re in pain during a session, you need to speak up. If you continue to not speak up, you may begin to harbor resentment for your Master/Mistress, which is going to impact the rest of your training sessions. When something hurts or something doesn’t feel right during a session, let your Master/Mistress know. They can look into the situation to see if they can help make it better or they can stop what they’re doing to see if they can make some other adjustment. You need to protect your body if you want to be a good slave for your Master/Mistress.
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Learn Your Lessons
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If you’ve been finding that you just can’t remember certain things, then you need to start practicing your training lessons at home. Each day, spend time working on your positions, your answers to commands, etc. You need to make sure that you’re practicing not only the things that you do well, but also the things that you need to improve. Get in front of a mirror and see what your Master sees when he looks at you. Try to focus on the feedback you have gotten from your Master and focus on how you can be better each time you’re in a training session.
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Try Something New
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As is the case for many New Year resolutions, slaves might also want to try something new for a change. Whether this means you change something in your contract or you simply ask to try something different in the dungeon, this is a good way to expand your horizons and test your limits. While you don’t want to do anything that you feel is a hard limit, you also don’t want to hide behind too many limits. As you continue to have trust in your Master/Mistress, you can trust them to take you further than you thought you could go.
This is a year in which you can prove to your Master/Mistress that you are the right slave for them. Push harder, speak up, learn your lessons, and try something new. You might just surprise yourself at how great of a slave you can be.
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>>>For more ways on how to become the type of submissive your Master/Mistress desires go to ===> slave Training Tutorial
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Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2012 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
Fear In Slave Training
January 4, 2012
Female submissives are certainly going to encounter challenges in their training, even when they least expect it. No matter if a slave has been under the control of a Master for a while or just for a short period, there is a time when the slave will wonder if their Master is going to hurt them or if they are truly able to satisfy their Master. This fear is natural and it can be used to further your training. The delicate balance between fear and trust is one that needs to be addressed frequently as the bond between a Master and slave can not be strengthened without a slave knowing what to do when they feel they can not go on.
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What are You Afraid Of?
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You need to assess what you are afraid of when it hits you during training sessions or outside of sessions. Common fears include:
* Fear of not pleasing – The most common fear of slaves is that they will not be able to please their Masters. And when this happens, a slave can make simple mistakes because they are too afraid of what might happen.
* Fear of pain – Some slaves fear that their Master might inflict more pain then they are able to handle or that a Dominant might permanently injury them, so the physical threat to their bodies is a concern.
* Fear of not being trainable – Many slaves feel that while they want to be trained, they are concerned their Master will not be able to be successful.
These fears, while normal, need to be addressed as they can hold a slave back from their true potential.
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Trusting Your Master
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When you look at these fears, you can see that something is underlying – trust. If you do not trust your Master to train you well, chances are good that you are not giving your full attention to your training. If you do not trust your Master to keep you from physical harm, you might not push yourself as hard during painful sessions. And when you fear that you are not trainable, you show that you do not have trust in your Master to move you in the right direction.
Just reading this, you begin to see that your trust is something that is a gift to your Master. When you’re unable to trust, you’re unable to give yourself fully to your state of being a slave. You’re stuck in the pattern of being unable to present yourself fully in training sessions and in other situations with your Master.
With that said you should never submit to a Dominant that you do not trust. Also never make yourself vulnerable within a submissive training scene to a Dominant that has not proven they are trustworthy outside of a Dom/sub relationship.
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Overcoming Your Fears
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Just as with any fear, there are ways to handle your fears and your lack of trust in your Master.
* Repeat your trust in your Master – Before every session, make sure that you repeat to yourself that you trust your Master with your body and with your mind. In time, you will begin to remind yourself of this instinctually.
* Test your perceived limits – When you feel that you are reaching some sort of limit, test yourself by moving past where you think you can go. If you do not succeed, at least you will have tried, and this will show.
* See pressure from your Master as a sign you are ready for more – If you begin to feel fear about your training because your Master is asking more of you, focus on the idea that your Master would not give you any tests without thinking you could live up to his expectations.
You might have fear, but when you have trust in your Master, you will be able to train effectively and you will submit yourself fully. In this beautiful submission, you will become the slave you want to become.
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Dealing With Trust Issues
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If you can not move past your trust issues then you need to take some time to look at the problem more. Why do you not trust your Master?
* Do you not trust your Dominant because of something they have done in the past? Then you need to sit down with your Dominant and explain to them what they have done that has shattered your trust in them. This way the both of you can figure out how to work through this.
* Do you not trust your Dominant because of things that you have experienced in the past with other people? Take some time and speak with your Dominant about why you have such a hard time trusting people, and that the issue is not just with Him. Perhaps explain the specific situations that caused you to lose your trust in people. With a little communication and some understanding both of you may figure out a way to slowly build your trust.
* Do you not trust your Dominant because the relationship is still new and your Dominant has not proven they are trustworthy? This is very common and understandable, just explain to your Master in a polite and respectful manner that you need more time to get comfortable and build a trusting bond between the two of you.
Don’t silently hold onto your fear and trust issues. This just causes a submissives fears to become worst. Take the time to express your concerns with your Master. This will allow the both of you to finally be able to focus completely on your slave training, the way both of you have always wanted too.
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>>>For more ways to establish and build trust within a new or existing Dom/sub relationship go to ===> BDSM Slave Training
=============================================================================
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
50 Reasons Why A Submissive Should Serve
December 16, 2011
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear from people about Dom/sub relationships is that the relationship is only about sex. While some Dom/sub relationships can be, for many a Dom/sub relationship involves so much more.
A Dom/sub relationship gives people involved an opportunity to live a completely harmonious and balanced life with their partner in an emotional, spiritual and physical capacity. It develops a relationship where each partner knows and understands their roles, allowing for a balance between personalities, skills, emotional needs and physical desires. It provides an opportunity for both partners to work together as one harmonious unit to be able to reach the objectives that will better serve the couple. As described in ancient Chinese philosophy, it is the balance between ying and yang. It is this balance that provides such a strong foundation for the Dom/sub relationship.
So why am I telling you this? Why don’t I just explain why slaves should serve? The reason why I express this is because I believe this message becomes lost behind many peoples sexual desires. They forget that some of the biggest reasons for a slave to serve and a Dominant to control are rooted deeply within developing a beautiful loving relationship that provides the support that each partner needs throughout life.
Two people are capable of doing and experiencing so much more, when they are able to live and work together in a harmonious and balanced environment.
With that said, trainee k who is currently going through the Female submissive training program, completed her assignment where she is meant to write out 50 reasons why she wishes to serve her Master/Husband. While many people list 50 sexual reasons, trainee k actually expressed some genuine heart felt reasons for her desire to serve that I felt everybody could learn from.
Regards,
Master Bishop
50 Reasons why I want to be a slave to my Master.
1. To please Him
2. To service all his sexual desires
3. To make Master proud
4. To provide Master with emotional support
5. To learn how to relinquish all control to Him
6. To understand what He wants and to provide it for Him
7. To share completely in His life.
8. To thank Him for choosing me.
9. To show Him that He is the most important thing in my life
10. To show my gratitude for His love.
11. To show my gratitude for His kindness.
12. To show my gratitude to Him for knowing what is best for me.
13. To show how much I trust Him.
14. To learn patience.
15. To learn to trust and move past my insecurities.
16. To show how proud I am to belong to such a wonderful Master.
17. To learn to anticipate his needs and provide them without being asked.
18. To show Him the extent of my desires for Him.
19. To show my appreciation for His willingness to take care of me.
20. To show my appreciation for how hard He works to take care of us.
21. To show Him that I recognize the sacrifices He has made for us.
22. To help relieve His stress
23. To show that I can give Him a clean organized house to come home to after His long day at work.
24. To show Him that I respect Him as my Master, Husband and Friend.
25. To give him peace of mind when things around Him are chaotic.
26. To provide Him with comfort and understanding.
27. To provide Him with humor when He is sad.
28. To share in His dreams.
29. To grow our relationship beyond sex and duty
30. To experience total submission when my need to be in control is not in His best interest.
31. To learn to love more deeply.
32. To understand that I can be a strong, independent person without being in control.
33. To take responsibility for the day to day chores so that He can concentrate on His job.
34. To learn to be graceful and respectful to Him at all times.
35. To learn how to put my wants aside to fulfill His first.
36. To ignite His passion
37. To bring Him to sexual heights He has only dreamed about.
38. To show how completely devoted I am to Him only.
39. To prove that I am worthy of His love
40. To prove that I am willing to try to fill all His need and desires.
41. To bring him laughter
42. To give Him my heart, mind, body and soul with complete confidence and trust knowing that He will never hurt me.
43. To give him my support for all the decision He must make in order to provide for us.
44. To relieve the burdens he carries by taking care of me as well as our entire family.
45. To offer my opinions, suggestions and help when He is faced with a dilemma.
46. To help create a life- long relationship built on trust, respect, and a deep knowledge of His needs and desires.
47. To fulfill His fantasies.
48. To become more than just His wife but to become His only desire.
49. To earn the right to be – first in His heart, mind, body and soul.
50. To show that I am the one person His has been waiting for. The one person He wants to share His life with. The one person he knows He can trust to always put Him first and to never disrespect, dishonor or disobey Him.
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
BDSM And Trust
December 6, 2011
BDSM is a practice of handing over the care of your body to another, or someone else is giving control of their body to you. One of the things that many BDSM lovers say drew them to BDSM is that it is the ultimate experience of trust. When you are in a BDSM scene or in a relationship, you need to be able to both trust your partner and be trustworthy. Without that dynamic, you might not be able to create a safe relationship that is fulfilling to the both of you.
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Can You Trust Your Partner?
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When you’re first meeting a new partner, you need to make sure that you trust them. Many people you meet through friends are going to be more trustworthy than others, but when you meet someone who is a stranger, you will find that they are harder to judge. This is why it’s so important to have a few dates and conversations before you jump into the dungeon together. The more that you talk with each other, the more you will begin to see if you are a good fit and if you want to hand over the whip – or take the whip in your hand. Even when you get a strange feeling about someone else, listen to it. Much of the time that odd feeling that you can’t trust someone is valid.
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How to Establish Trust
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Once you’ve decided that someone else is worthy of trust, you will want to make sure that this is the case. You will want to begin by talking to each other outside of the bedroom. This will help you see if they are able to do things that you expect them to do. For example, if they say that they are going to be at a certain place at a certain time, they should be. Of course, this goes both ways. You also need to show that you are a trustworthy person. Listen to them to see if their stories make sense, if they are willing to share things with you, and whether they treat others well. When you take the time to get to know the other person, you will be able to more accurately measure their trustworthiness.
There is no ‘time’ when you should invite someone back to the bedroom. The biggest mistake most people make, is heading to the bedroom before they fully know and trust the other person. It can take weeks to months before you can trust someone and see that they are who they say they are. All Dom/sub horror stories start with people rushing into the bedroom. Remember if this is the right person for you, you will have a lifetime of bedroom fun together, so there is no need to rush it. Make sure you know that you can trust this person first.
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When Trust is Lost
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In the dungeon, trust is something that is implied, but that doesn’t mean everyone always plays fair. You need to make sure that when trust is lost in the bedroom that you take action to repair it or you find a new partner. For example, if a partner doesn’t stop when you use a safeword, you need to stop the scene and talk about why that happened. If they apologize and they never do it again, then it was a simple mistake. But if they continue to go beyond your limits, for example, then you need to make sure that you stop the relationship. For those in control, you need to make sure that your partner trusts you enough to tell you when enough is enough. If they don’t, you may want to ask them why they don’t trust you and how you can foster more trust.
BDSM is fun, but it’s also serious play. You need to make sure that you can hand over your body to someone else and that another person is comfortable giving over control to you. While they might seem as though they are having a good time, just as in any relationship, without trust, you don’t have a true partnership.
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>>>For more ways to establish and build trust within a new or existing Dom/sub relationship go to ===> Dominant/submissive Training
=============================================================================
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
How to Become a Painslut
November 21, 2011
Pain isn’t always a part of a slave’s existence, but in most BDSM relationships, it does play some role. When your Master/Mistress is someone who wants to see just how much pain you can take, you need to be ready to take it all – and to do so with grace and appreciation. After all, it takes a lot of energy for your Dom/me to give you the pain that you will receive from them. You can become a painslut, someone who is eager to accept pain and who is always ready for more, no matter how large the welts and bruises might become.
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The Gift of Pain
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Right now, you need to start looking at pain, not as something that you have to endure, but as a gift from your Master or Mistress. Realize now that you are the one they have chosen to accept and to take the pain they are giving, and that this is a special present of their time and of their attention. Each time your Dom/me wants you to take more pain, realize this is because they believe you can take more and they want to see just how far you are willing to go in order to show them your commitment to your role in their life. If you aren’t willing to take pain in order to please your Master/Mistress, you might want to rethink whether you are the right slave for them. That is, if giving pain is a major part of their Dominant desires.
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Increasing Your Pain Tolerance
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Some people are born with high tolerance for pain, and this might include you. If not, there are ways to continue to build your pain tolerance so that you can take more and more from your Master or Mistress. To begin, you need to focus your breathing when you are experiencing pain. Each time you feel a wave of pain course through you, you need to breathe in deeply, helping to bring your focus to your breath instead of to the pain. You can also focus on relaxing your body (which often happens naturally when you breathe deeply), as this will decrease the chance that you will have muscle tension in addition to your pain.
But the most effective way to increase your pain tolerance is to continue to experience pain. The more you experience it, the more you will be able to take it without flinching and without shrieking. You need to ask for more and more, until you hit the point where it’s too much. And then, at the next training session, try to move past that breaking point.
Just because you are learning to become a painslut, does not mean you can’t say your safeword if things become more painful then you can handle. In fact your Dominant is expecting you to call out your safeword. That way your Dom/me knows the exact point at which you can handle the pain they are giving you. While you want to please your Dom/me by accepting all the pain they give you, you must always feel for signs within yourself as to when too much is too much. Don’t be afraid to call out your safeword.
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Connecting Pain with Pleasure
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A painslut not only enjoys pain, but they also will begin to derive pleasure from it. You can do this by focusing on how good the pain feels after it hits your body. Focus on this sensation as being something that’s positive and something that is making you a better slave. This might not come naturally at first, but when you continue to allow the pain to be something that is positive, you will create a new connection in your brain. You might also want to focus on the orgasms that are given to you after you have endured a long pain session. When you know pleasure is coming after your graceful acceptance of pain, you will not look at pain as just being a terrible experience. This experience will become something that you look forward to, as the more willing you are, the more your Master or Mistress will be willing to reward you for your hard work.
Some slaves will also find ways to practice giving themselves pain on their own and then masturbating during or right after to connect pain with pleasure. Talk with your Dom/me about whether you could be allowed to try this technique as well.
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>>>For more ways on how to become the type of submissive your Dom/me desires go to ===> slave Training Tutorial
=============================================================================
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
Safe BDSM Practices
November 14, 2011
Safety is everything in a relationship and it’s even more important when you’re practicing BDSM. In order to make sure that you’re having a safe interaction with your partner, you need to follow some basic rules of sanitation and boundaries so that you’re able to practice BDSM without harming your health or the health of your partner.
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Basic Safety Rules
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When you’re interested in being safe during sex, you need to realize that BDSM can be harder on the body than you might realize. While you might enjoy pain mixed with pleasure, this can also cause harm to the body if you’re not careful.
* Be honest – During the creation of a BDSM contract, you need to make sure that you’re always being honest about what you can handle and what you’re willing to do with your partner. Talk about the limits you want to set and then make sure that everyone follows them.
* Communicate – When you’re in the midst of a scene, it might be tempting to ignore the needs of a partner in the interest of having a ‘good’ scene. But you need to communicate if you are feeling too much pain or something seems to be damaging the health of your partner.
* Listen – On the other side, you need to listen to the partner that is saying that something is not right.
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Trust and the Unknown Partner
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In some BDSM relationships, it might be allowed to have relations with others, but when you’re going into a new scene with an unknown partner, you need to make sure that you trust this person in some fashion. Whether this means your partner comes with you to the scene to make sure that things are handled responsibly or it means that you get together with a person that you will play with and learn more about them before you go into a training session, you need to establish a basic level of trust. And while this seems like common sense, you always need to know the partner with whom you will play. Playing with a stranger can increase your risk of unhealthy results.
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STD Prevention
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During sex, there is always a chance of STDs, even if the partner seems to be clean or they say they are disease free. To make sure that you are protecting yourself and your partner, you should include these tools in your BDSM dungeon:
* Latex gloves – Note too that there are latex-free options for those who are sensitive or who are allergic to latex.
* Condoms – Having condoms that fit and that are lubricated can help to reduce the transmission of bodily fluids.
* Dental dams – You can use dental dams to create layers between your mouth and other areas of the body, without reducing sensations that are pleasurable.
All of these barrier methods will ensure the smallest risk of transmission of STDs. Whenever you are sharing bodily fluids, you need to make sure that the partner has either been tested recently or you need to create barriers that will prevent the sharing of these fluids. Fluids that can transmit disease include blood, semen, and saliva. To be absolutely safe, have a partner wear latex gloves to keep their hands clean, use condoms for penetration, and always use new condoms and gloves when switching to a new scene in which new fluids may be exchanged.
While sex is never 100% safe, there are plenty of ways to make your BDSM relationship as safe as humanly possible. Whenever you are concerned about your health, it’s better to be safe than to be sorry in the end.
Please remember the only way to be 100% safe is through abstinence. With any form of sex or BDSM play, there is a risk. Even within a monogamous relationship, there is a risk. Don’t take your health and safety lightly. Always apply safe sex and safe BDSM practices in your scenes.
For more information about STDs and protecting yourself please go to: The Center For Disease Control And Prevention
To your health and safety,
Mistress Brianne
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
Topping From The Bottom
November 7, 2011
One of the biggest dilemmas in BDSM is when bottoms top when they’re bottoming. Confused yet? This is a situation in which those who are submissive tell their Dominants what a sub wants a Dom/me to do. While it does seem to go against the idea of giving up control to someone else, there are times when this practice is appropriate – and that’s where the arguments begin. If you’ve been curious about this sort of terminology, here are the arguments in both directions.
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Yes, You Should Top from the Bottom
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When you are just getting to know a Dominant, things can be a little confusing for both partners. A Dominant usually has a style that they like to use and know the different sensations past subs have enjoyed, but they have no idea what a new sub likes or how they will react to different sensations.
As a sub you may want to give them some direction, as they might not know your body as well as you might want them to. Of course giving those suggestions in a begging, pleading, respectful and courteous way, might help your cause to convince your new Dominant to take your suggestion.
When a top and a bottom have known each other for a while, topping from the bottom can also help when you are interested more in building up the intensity of your scenes, rather than working out the power dynamics. As a submissive you know the Dominant is in charge, you just want to let them know that you can take more and that you want to take more for Them.
Topping from the bottom might also be necessary when the bottom has physical issues or psychological issues that need to be carefully monitored.
Some people might not consider these examples as topping from the bottom, but just open communication between a Dom and a sub. However others might consider these examples an extreme offense and refuse to play. This is why it is so important to find a partner who’s ideas mesh well with Y/yours. Also discussing proper ways to communicate before a session, can help to eliminate any miscommunication about topping from the bottom.
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No, You Should Not Top from the Bottom
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At the same time, one of the reasons why a bottom becomes a bottom is to give up control to another person. When they top, this makes the top less effective and it blurs the lines between who is in control and who is not. A Dominant who is unable to top the way they like becomes less of a Master or Mistress, and more of a placeholder in the relationship. Since they do not have a clear role, they are simply there to step in when they are needed to satisfy the submissive’s desires – not to control a person. If you want to be in a clear Dominant and submissive relationship, one person needs to be in control, while the other gives up control.
This power dynamic is also not appropriate when you want to train a slave. A slave that doesn’t know their place becomes an ineffective slave. This is not to say that as a slave you can not communicate with your Dominant. It is very important to keep open communication with your Dominant at all times. If things become too intense or too painful, you should say your “SafeWord” to let your Dominant know to stop. If you are feeling confused, frustrated and/or are having negative feelings towards your training, ask to sit down with your Dominant and talk about how you are feeling. This way the both of you can work through things together. Even constructive criticism outside of the dungeon on a Dominant’s techniques or ways to make things more effect for you as a slave are always welcome.
Communication doesn’t just have to be negative. Let your Master or Mistress know what they do that you like and why you like it.
Where the problem with topping from the bottom comes in, is when a submissive gives the Dominant specific instructions on “When, Where And How” a submissive wants to be trained. This usually comes about from a submissive wanting certain things in their training. Instead of letting go of the control and focusing on their training, these submissives only focus on what they want and what they are not getting.
Be honest with yourself, if you are constantly asking for more spankings, floggings, bondage, etc. are you asking for this, so you can let go of your control?
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Dominants Dealing With Subs That Top
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If you have an established and recognized Power Dynamic within your Dom/sub relationship (that does not accept topping from the bottom) and you as the Dominant are finding that your sub is topping from the bottom, there are a few things you can do to correct their behavior:
1) If they are bound, step away from your sub and give them a few minutes of zero play and complete silence. Before you start up again, ask your sub if they know why you decided to punish them like this?
2) If they are not bound, then take them by the collar and leash and lead them to a corner of the room. Instruct them to go into instructional pose or forced pose and while they are there, they are to think about who is in charge of the scene and why they are being punished. After five minutes in forced pose, your sub should be very sorry and begging for forgiveness.
3) If your sub is demanding a certain task or instrument, do the exact opposite. If your sub has been demanding wax play your whole scene and not concentrating on what you are doing or your instructions. Stop what you are doing, go to the freezer and grab some ice cubes for ice play. Again, have your sub explain why you have decided to do this?
4) Give your sub what they want, but only for a brief moment before you switch to the one thing they don’t like. Continuously switch back and forth between the two. They loving flogging, but hate the cane. Not a problem here is one swipe with the flogger, followed by 20 hits with the cane. Make sure you have the sub explain to you why you are doing this to them.
5) If none of the above techniques work, then end the scene. Explain to your sub what the punishment is for and why you decided to punish them this way. Also make sure to inform them that future scenes will be cut short, if the sub refuses to respect the power dynamic, that the both of you originally agreed upon.
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>>>For more ways to enhance the intensity of your Dom/sub relationship go to ===> Dominant/submissive Training
=============================================================================
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008-2011 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
Learning From Dom/sub Training Mistakes
October 20, 2011
Let’s face it – whether we want to admit it or not, we all make mistakes – in and out of the dungeon. And while it might seem better to simply avoid mistakes in the first place, it also seems like it would be a good idea to learn from the mistakes you do make. Whether you’re a Dominant or a submissive, you can learn from the training mistakes that you make, which will help you to develop your own skills in the dungeon, even if you don’t think you have room to improve – or even if you think it’s the problem of the other person (and it generally isn’t).
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Determine Where Things Might Have Gone Wrong
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You can’t correct a mistake if you’re not sure where the mistake took place. You need to think back over the training session to try to pinpoint the exact moment when the mistake took place and then write this down. It might just be a one time thing, in which case, it can help to simply think the mistake over in your mind. But if you have been feeling like your BDSM has been ‘off’ for a while, it can help to keep a daily journal. If you begin to notice that certain mistakes continue to happen over and over, you will want to make sure that you’re starting to learn from these mistakes. If this should make sense, you might want to call out the mistake as it happens in a scene if the other person doesn’t understand what you’re trying to describe to them. This is a little jarring, but highly effective if you’re having troubles communicating the issue.
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Figure Out the Ideal Scenario Sans Mistakes
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Once you have determined where the training session went wrong, it’s a good idea to talk this out with your partner. You will be able to think out the problem between two people, which is going to be far more effective than just with one person. You two can talk out what you wished would have happened and how you could have avoided the problem to begin with – if that is possible. The main idea is to talk out the problem outside of the bedroom so you can look at the issue objectively and you can begin to see whether something needs to be done or if this was just something that happened and doesn’t need more discussion.
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Training Mistakes That Continue
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But when things continue to happen, the same mistakes again and again, it might be better to stop a scene when they are happening. At that point, both partners will want to try to problem solve the situation. You can then begin to correct the issue as it’s happening and if the solution doesn’t work, try something else. While this might not make your scene as powerful as it might normally be, many partners learn better from actually correcting the mistake mid-scene rather than correcting the mistake in a discussion long after you have separated from each other. Sometimes you can just forget exactly what happens unless you are in the heat of the moment.
Mistakes happen and they happen frequently. But these mistakes don’t have to seem like they’re a sign of bad training – far from it. By learning more about how the two of you work together in a training session, you will be able to learn what you need to learn and then modify your training to work for YOU. And in the long run, this is going to make you the best possible Dominant or the best possible submissive.
=============================================================================
>>>For more ways to enhance the intensity of your Dom/sub relationship go to ===> Dominant/submissive Training
=============================================================================
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
The Beauty Of Corsets
October 7, 2011
Leather Corset
Since it typically takes time and effort to get into and out of a corset the simple act of dressing or undressing can take on a whole new aspect, and is a large part of many couples foreplay. For the submissive being dressed in a corset by their Dom/me, they can feel the gradual increase in control with a sense of comfort in the restriction. The submissive dressing a Dominatrix in a corset, can pleasure of serving their Dominant and getting them ready for the session ahead. A perfect warmup to any Dom/sub session.
Brocade & Leather Corset
When wearing a corset outside of the bedroom, the wearer will need to be more careful of how they are moving in their day to day lives. This acts as a constant reminder of the slave’s position in the relationship and can also create a sensation of constant control that can be an everyday task or a special request from the Dominant.
In addition, corsets are an accepted form of everyday wear at certain events, so the wearing of one can be a public display of the slave’s obedience to a Dominant, even if it is not expressed to others that are present. A slave that wears a corset out to a club, for example, will need to move in a dainty manner as well as be easily controlled by others who might touch or hold them.
For Domme’s a corset is perfect for enhancing a woman’s shapely curves and accentuating the beautiful lines that make a submissive drool. Not many submissives can resist a Dominatrix in a beautiful corset. In fact, the corset has become a staple of both the Dominatrix and submissive wardrobe because of the elegant shape and vast variety of designs.
Leather & Brocade Underbust Corset
The one problem with corsets can be the price. One corset can range from $350 – $800. This means that most people only have one corset sitting in their closet. Variety tends to be the spice of life when it comes to Dom/sub sessions. Pulling out the same corset day after day can become boring quickly. Stop spending a fortune on corsets and limiting your fetish fashions. Have a look at O/our selection of Beautiful and Elegant Corsets. This way you can have a number of different corsets within your wardrobe, so you can bring a different flavor to each session you have.
Click Here for Dominant And Submissive Corsets
For plus sized corsets have a look at O/Our Diva Corsets
Regards,
Mistress Brianne
Soft Touch Vinyl Corset
================================================================
Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
Safe Wax Play
September 21, 2011
The scene with wax is one that plays out in many BDSM movies and stories. The hot wax dripping on the skin seems like the perfect way to make a slave squeal with fright and pleasure. But while the movies make it seem so easy, the truth is that wax play can be dangerous if you don’t do it right. It’s a good idea to read up on wax play and how to be safe about it before you start lighting a candle and dripping it over anyone. After all, the more you do something safely, the longer you can use it in a scene without causing permanent physical harm to your slave.
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The Right Wax
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Most people will tell you that any wax is the right wax to use, but there are better waxes that can help you prevent any unnecessary pain or irritation. Some wax types melt point is high enough that serious burns can occur and require immediate medical attention – some of the types of wax that should be considered for use as BDSM hot wax include both Raw Paraffin (melts at 115° – 126°F) and Votive Candles (131° – 141°) of which Paraffin is the best. Many higher melt point candles such as beeswax etc. contain additives to make them have that higher melt point and these additives such as stearic acid and dyes or perfumes all of which can cause rashes or blistering when used in a BDSM type environment.
Ideally no temperature above 135° should ever come in contact with human skin, so raw paraffin perhaps with a little crayon additive is best for wax play. For candles specifically designed for wax play check out Wax Play Dripping Candles
With Wax play always test the temperature of the candle on yourself first. The best place to test is the underside of your forearm. After you have tested on yourself, you can then test out a small spot of skin on the slave first to see if they have any troubles with the wax you’ve selected for a scene.
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The Right Position
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When you’re pouring wax on the body, you need to hold the candle up far from the body, rather than close. If you hold the candle too close to the body, you will find that the wax is very hot when it hits the skin, which can cause a burn. The further the candle is away from the body, the more time it has to cool down by the time it hits the skin. You will want to test different heights from which to pour the wax since every person is different and can handle different types of pain sensations. In some cases, you might be able to slightly lower the candle to create a more intense sensation, but this should only be done on skin that is tougher – i.e. the arms vs. the stomach or breasts.
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The Parts to Avoid
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No matter what the goal of a scene might be, you do not want to use wax on certain parts of the body. Though you might see it done in movies, these parts can suffer permanent damage in real life. The eyes, the ears, and the mouth are not places for wax to be poured. Avoiding the face in general is also a good idea since you don’t want to have any unsightly scars that you didn’t intend. Try to stick with parts of the skin that are tougher and that can handle more temperature variance than most other parts of the body can – i.e. the arms, the buttocks, the upper quads, etc.
Wax play can add a new dimension to your BDSM scenes, but you still need to be safe about it. The more that you can think ahead to prevent problems, the more you can focus on the scene, on enjoying it, and on having a good time before, during, and after.
FUN TIP: Try pouring different colors of wax onto the skin or trying to spell out words onto the slave’s body. That can create an interesting effect when the slave is told to look at it.
ANOTHER FUN TIP: Have the slave pour wax onto themselves in order to please their Master or Mistress.
=============================================================================
For wax candles that are designed specifically for wax play check out ===> Wax Play Dripping Candles
>>>Learn about the different techniques you can use to enhance your kinky life go to ===> BDSM Training
=============================================================================
Regards,
Master Bishop
support@bdsmtrainingacademy.com
P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
================================================================
Copyright 2008 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.
================================================================
You must be 18+ years old to read this blog
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