The True Beauty Of Submission

February 28, 2014

The true beauty of submission

So many people view BDSM and Dom/sub relationships to be these dark evil lifestyle choices, that strips one person of all their power, choice and freedoms.  This in fact could not be further from the truth.

I believe the problem might be that many people view these images through their own eyes.  They assume that a person must be under severe duress to do any kind of submissive act, because they personally would need to be forced under duress to do such a subservient act.  What they are forgetting is that this world includes a variety of different people. Each individual enjoys life different and as long as those interests are legal then they are free to enjoy them.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin

A Dom/sub relationship is meant to be a healthy loving supportive relationship between two consenting adults.  While one person may see the submissive as powerless, most if not all submissives see their submissive activities as empowering.  It takes an incredibly strong person to absolutely trust another person so as to become completely vulnerable.  *(Nor should you make yourself that vulnerable or trust so completely to just anybody.)

One person views submission as the elimination of choice, while many submissives believe it is the ultimate choice.  BDSM is not forced slavery, every person that enters into a Dom/sub relationship in this day and age does so of their own free will.  With all the choices a free person has, the fact that they choose to serve another is breathtaking.

Just because it is not a choice that you would choose, does not mean you can criticize another for their choice.  Do W/we all not search for meaning in O/our lives?  To find something that feels natural, makes U/us happy and comes freely?

For many submissives, serving allows them freedom from their own ego, and self.  A state of enlightenment millions of people struggle to achieve.

To Your Continued Journey,

Master Bishop

 

How To Take Proper Care Of Your Dom

February 6, 2014

Dominant/submissive bad daysIf this is not the top concern I hear from submissives, then it’s at least in the top three.  your Dominant spends a lot of time, and energy protecting and caring for you.  How does a submissive go about doing the same in return?

Svana took the time to really express how she feels about taking care of her Dom.  It is beautifully written and expressed and I think every submissive should read it, if not memorize it.  I hope it helps with your Dom/sub relationship.

Thanks again to Svana for creating such an amazing article.

Master Bishop

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Recently I had a new friend ask me, in a frustrated moment, “How do you take care of a Dom?!?” I took a moment an asked him what was wrong. He filled me in that he was in the loving throes of a brand new D/s dynamic…his first of it’s kind. We talked for a long while and I gave him my knee jerk reaction. I’ve been captivated by the topic ever since. I wanted to create a guideline for myself on how to take care of a Dominant. I consider those I submit to to be extraordinary. These are singular men. I want to make sure that they know that I know that I’ve found something rare and precious in him.

I was struck by the question. I realized right then and there that this was an excellent query, worth more than a moment’s consideration. There are many posts on taking proper care of your sub, aftercare, taking feelings into account during play…and I realized there were far fewer on how we, as submissives, should care for our Dominants. Let’s consider who we’re talking about. Whether we’re talking about Male or Female Dominants we are talking about people. Full-fledged every day folk who have bad days, good days, up and down days, and every other kind of day that you have as a submissive…person.

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Dominants are expected to be strong. We hope they’re strong enough to guide us/ care for us on our journey…such trust there is in a D/s relationship! In power exchange I get to slowly hand over the power I have over myself and my decisions to him. Why? Because he’s worth it. Because I trust him enough to give everything I have/am to him. I watch him, please him, love him…what pressure our loving Masters must be under!! I realized that having someone watch me lead by example and hand their body to me for safekeeping…would eventually feel like pressure. The pressure to never fail, never have a bad moment, and often we hold them to superhuman standards. Most days they succeed in being our Supermen. Most days we get to adore them and give ourselves over completely to their (our) most delicious secrets/ desire/ needs…but what about the bad days?

What about the day Daddy comes home from work after getting laid off? Maybe just a writeup or a speeding ticket? Something human…just a bad day. On that day how do we care for them? How do we show them that we care about their feelings too? The first is to remember they are human and have feelings and that BDSM is work. We choose to live in an intense world full of intense dynamics.

Why? It’s worth it.

For the Dominant side…they make the decisions. Decisions are hard work. Remember when I said “get to” give away decisions…some days i don’t want to decide squat. They put work into scene ideas, often they buy/make/carry all the toys and use you. They also have a vested interest in who you are and your personal well being. It seems like caring for a very rare, very fun, very high maintenance pet. Sometimes they need a breather. I can completely understand why. Has anyone ever owned a large cat? They take hours of care a day. They eat more than you can imagine. They can eat you. I still think they’re a lot less maintenance than a full time submissive. We need to, as submissives, be aware of how much work goes into BDSM – emotionally and physically – for both sides. We’re not the only ones baring our souls here.

I realized it’s so simple and elegant…and Dominants are often easier than vanilla guys to care for. Why? Because most of the time they’ll tell you what they want. Simplicity…for the sake of the post I’m speaking of male Dominants. What are they? Men. People. Take care of them in special ways specific to your dynamic…and then do something else. Take into consideration that these men may just want to cuddle and lie on the couch. Do his laundry for him or make a special meal. Cut him some slack to be human. Be there for him…that’s what we get to do to thank them for what they do for us. Act like a particularly subbie girlfriend…remember when we fawned over and woo’ed our men?

Be open and honest in your communication. If you don’t tell him what you need he will not know intrinsically. You must be willing to be brave and emotionally vulnerable to truly care for your Dominant and to honestly expect him to take care of you. If you are available in every way then you will learn what he needs even on the days when he doesn’t feel so Domly. Sometimes a gentle hug or a sweet kiss…no lusty overtones…just a kiss to say “I empathize…I’m sorry you’re having a bad day…I’m here for you if you need me for anything.”

Allow him to talk to you…and be interested. We get the lion’s share of the attention in this dynamic. When he’s emotionally drained or just kinda mentally beat up then we should help to recharge him. If he needs to talk, allow him the space to vent. Even if it’s about you. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving him time to play his video games or something fun and mundane like getting out of town with friends. We live in an intense world full of intense interactions and intense protocol…and once in awhile everyone needs a break.

If he’s tired/drained/done with this day…don’t pressure him to play. How would you feel if your cat died and he came home and dominated you? I would feel bad about it…on top of which my freaking cat died…worse day. I hate feeling pressured…constricted…micromanaged. If I hate it odds are good he does too.

Don’t nag or pressure. Don’t act out for attention because you want it when he doesn’t have the emotional energy to give it to you. Give him a break. let the man eat a cheeseburger and watch a ballgame without having to put on his superhero cape. If you’re good to him and help his heart heal maybe he’ll put his cape back on tomorrow. Today, love this human being who is such a rare and precious find.

Live in your moment. Remember that you never get this time back. You get the future. Enjoy it. Enjoy him. Enjoy every bit of intimacy you explore. Remember that if he has a bad day and you treat him with respect, empathy, kindness…he’s likely to do the same for you when you let your best friend cut your hair and you end up with a mullet. Bad days happen for us all. If we’re really lucky we have someone’s support to help us through. This is universal and applies to both sides of the slash.

  • Recognize he’s human.
  • Recognize that BDSM is intense and it is work.
  • Be empathetic, kind, and available.
  • Remember that you’re _getting to_ give your decisions away…just like your submission is a gift – as is his Dominance.

Live in this moment and recognize it’s a fleeting thing. This moment never comes around again. How you behave will shape your future. Remember that every action has an opposite reaction. Ripples in a pond.

Svana

Slave Service Dinner

January 22, 2014

If you are looking for have a formal submissive service dinner, then you should have a look at the formal instructions sub-kathleen wrote out for submissives who were looking to serve at her latest Service Etiquette Dinner.  Putting on an evening like this takes a lot of preparation, hard work and attention to detail.  Every submissive must be willing to pull their fair share of the work otherwise it can interfere with the other sub’s abilities to serve and for the dinner to be properly enjoyed by all.  These dinners are a time for a submissive to show their willingness to serve, their class/elegance/sophistication and their dedication to detail.  This is a moment for both Dominant and submissive to show their pride!

Semi-Formal Slave/Submissive/Bottom Dining Service Etiquette

By sub-kathleen

Serving is a gift we give to our Master/Dominant/Top. Elegance and grace should be part of our presentation and practice is the best way to insure that we are serving properly.
Showing proper respect and obedience to our Master/Dominant/Top and being a source of pride to our Master/Dom/Top is our goal. Let’s be the best slave/submissive/bottom that we can be.

Uniform:

Recommended but can be negotiated prior to the dinner party.

Table Setting:

Serving Your Master/ Dominant/Top:

Dinner Food service:

Always serve on the Right side

Dinner Beverage service:

Always serve on the Left side

 

Desert Food service:

 

After Dinner Beverage service:

Always serve on the Left side

General Rules:

Submissive Dining EtiquetteImage source: fashionmeetsfood .com – How To: Properly Set The Table

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Copyright 2008-2014 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Dom/sub Journal: Do you Dare?

January 21, 2014

CelebrateBDSMDesires

Do you dare to be your true self? Do you dare to celebrate your desires?  Despite society accepting many different sexual lifestyles, BDSM is still considered an offensive and deplorable lifestyle choice.  This does not mean you should go out and reveal your desires to the public, as this can have serious consequences with your professional career, family and friends.  Each individual must make that choice for themselves and accept the consequences.

When I ask you if you dare to be your true self and celebrate your desires, I mean do you allow yourself to be freedom when you are with your partner.  Or does societies views on the BDSM lifestyle cause you to have guilt about yourself and your desires?  Does it cause you to close yourself off and not discuss your kinks, even with someone who you know to be involved in the lifestyle?

Dom/sub journal: Write down how you feel about this and then discuss your views with your partner and give them time to tell you how they feel.  Y/you may be shocked as to how closed off many of U/us truly are even behind closed doors.

Wishing You All The Best,

Master Bishop

In The Closet About BDSM

January 12, 2014

In a day and age when acceptance of many different lifestyle choices has grown, BDSM is still looked down upon.  Jobs can be lost, individuals can be shunned by coworkers, even friends and family members can disappear once they find out that your interests have strayed into BDSM.  This is why one of the worst things you can do is publicly out someone in the lifestyle, because the ramifications of their personal life can be immense.

So you can understand why sub cee was upset when her coworkers blindsided her by publicly discussing her desires within the lifestyle.  Have a read and see what happened and how she did to handle the situation.

Master Bishop

Read more

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Not too long ago I went out with a couple of girls from work to a show. Now it isn’t some huge secret that I’m a little kinkier than most of my friends but it is known that discretion is necessary. At said show, one of my coworkers drunkenly came up to me and said something along the lines of “Terrance* told me about your pictures! You know.. the one with the thing in your mouth!” I looked at her and all I could think was how much I really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. She kept pushing and pushing until finally I turned to face her and told her what I am. Right there in the middle of the dance floor among a massive amount of screaming, womping, intoxicated people, I openly admitted to being a submissive masochist.

This girl and I weren’t the best of friends. We didn’t have some crazy connection beforehand. I can’t really begin to pinpoint the reason I snapped. Part of it may have been that she already had some sort of idea. She already knew that I wasn’t “normal.” What I did know was that in the middle of that dance floor with the bass pumping through my chest, I began to question myself. I started to feel anxiety about the fact that I admitted it so openly and freely. I started to care about what she would think of me. I started to worry if other people overheard.
I really couldn’t figure out why it bothered me so much but I knew it did. It bothered me very very much.

I was at work last night with Terrance (the one who decided it would be okay to talk about my pictures) and I decided it was time for the two of us to have a little chat. I wasn’t angry with them. I knew that their reason for talking about it was due to culture conditioning and lack of logic. It wasn’t meant to try and harm me in any way. I explained how the conversation they had wasn’t appropriate and how what I do calls for discretion. They understood and apologized. After the conversation I got the same feeling I did when I admitted to being what I am at the show. This black hole in my chest. This open pit of anxiety. I wanted to curl up and cry.

I have realized I am in the closet. I may always be in the closest as on many levels, this is the nature and the price of what we do. We keep what we are quiet from the world. The world knows we are there. They know we exist. We are the monsters under the bed and shadows on the walls but we frighten ourselves more than we will ever scare anyone else. They fear us because they don’t understand us. We fear ourselves because we do. We know what we’re capable of. We understand the desires and the urges that seem so wrong to everyone else and it scares us so much that we take our monsters and hide them away. We shove them into a closet and leave them in chains telling ourselves it’s to protect our monsters. We want them to be safe from the world and hope one day there will be another monster who will love them just as much as we do.

The girl from the show jumped up an down in excitement when I told her what I was. It was like she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth fast enough. “I AM THE SAME” is what she told me. She has a monster to. A monster who has never been tamed, has never been trained, has never been let out. She was so excited to find someone who knew, who understood. I reached up, put my hand in her hair and pulled.

- sub cee

*name has been changed

**Thank you sub cee for sharing such a personal story.  If you have a personal story, good or bad about how your interests were accepted by others outside of the lifestyle please share them below.  The only way W/we can grow acceptance of O/our lifestyle is by sharing O/our stories.

What to Expect at a BDSM Event

December 30, 2013

Welcome To Your KinksWhether you’re in a BDSM relationship now or you simply want to get out and meet more of the BDSM community, there are plenty of events which can introduce you to others who share your same interests. By getting out into the community, you can not only meet other slaves and Masters and Mistresses, but you can also begin to learn more about what you can do to expand your BDSM horizons.

What Kinds of Events are Out There?

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If you’re in an area with a lot of kink, chances are good you already know this. You might have a certain BDSM gathering place that advertises local events. If not, you might want to head to your local sex supplies store to see if they know anything about local happenings. Most larger cities have some form of erotic events, so if you can’t find anything out in your local hangouts, you may want to head to the Internet for help to locate the next big erotic party. Many of these events will be celebratory of a theme or of a certain event in the world, for example, while others might simply be gatherings of certain fetishes or annual kink conventions.

No matter what your interest, there’s probably going to be an event out there for you and your partner.

What Happens at These Events?

Small Gatherings: It really depends on the kind of event that you go too. Small rope bondage nights tend to hosted at a person’s home with a small gathering of friends and acquaintances. It’s a very casual laid back kind of environment, which is why many newbies tend to prefer them as their first event.

Bigger Events: For bigger BDSM events that tend to be hosted at a larger venue (such as a nightclub) depending on the tone of the event, a number of things can happen. Most of these events have a strict dress code. Not only does this add to the flavor of the event, it is also meant to keep the looky-loos out. There are tons of people who are not interested in the lifestyle who would still love to come to an event and just stare at everybody fully exposed and vulnerable. These types of tourists can kill the mood of any event.

Many of these events have a dungeon area which are closed off sections (If the dungeon is not the entire floor space) that people can take part in various BDSM activities with other consenting adults. Responsible events/dungeons will have:

  • cleaning solution/paper towels for cleaning the equipment after each use
  • A first aid kit
  • Safety supplies such as nitrile gloves, EMT scissors, etc
  • These areas must always be monitored by experienced individuals within the lifestyle at all times to ensure all activities are correctly, safely and consensually performed.

Some events will include performances by couples and groups. These are highly staged bondage or edge play themes mostly, and they can certainly give you ideas for your sessions as well as get you in the mood instantly.

Trade Shows: More often than not, the primary function of a trade show event is vending. You will find everything you could ever think of to add to your dungeon and to your playtime – ropes, chains, paddles, and anything else you might be missing. Some of these shows will also have demonstration classes. This will help to educate you about certain skills, while also giving you a chance to talk to an instructor about a specific query you might have.

Many BDSM gatherings will also have hands on workshops which will help people learn how to play with their partners in a safe setting. You might learn bondage techniques, paddling skills, etc.

What If I’m Uncomfortable/Too Comfortable?

But if you’ve never been to a BDSM gathering, you might be afraid that things will get out of hand and you won’t know what to do. That’s normal. Most newbies are afraid they might be pulled into something they don’t want to do.

A good rule of thumb is to not play with anybody for the first few events you go too. In fact, you should never play with anybody you don’t know and trust (a rule that should never be broken).  It doesn’t matter how well known the person may be at the venue, if you don’t know and trust them you should not play with them.

Many people go to their first event and become so excited that they play with the first person that asks them. This can become dangerous because you don’t know this other person and have zero understanding of their ability to perform the agreed upon activity. Is this person trustworthy? You have no idea and if you agree to play with them you will never know until its too late.

Also playing in public is much different then playing in private.  There is far more stimulation and pressures that come along with it.  Even an experienced Dominant/submissive can get caught up in the atmosphere and lose themselves in the moment.  This can cause a scene to go beyond what it was meant too.  A submissive can forget to call their safeword and a Dominant might not be able to hear or clearly see signs that show them the submissive is in trouble.  Err on the safe side and wait until you have attended a few events before you choose to play at one. Take the time needed to become more comfortable with yourself  and the atmosphere.

To help you feel more comfortable, it might be helpful to go with your partner or with a friend. When you do decide to play at a public event, first play with your trusted partner/friend. If you ever decide to play with someone else have your partner/friend there to make sure you always remain comfortable and safe.  If you’re not sure about what to do about a certain situation check in with an event coordinator.

Going to BDSM events can help you rejuvenate your relationship, give you the opportunity to buy new toys, and allow you to meet others, while also helping you learn more about how to please your partner again and again.

Regards,

Master Bishop

================================================================

Copyright 2008-2013 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Dom/sub Journal: The Importance Of Patience In Submissive Training

November 19, 2013

One of the most important characteristics for any Dominant or submissive to have is patience.

The dictionary definition of patience is the ability to accept and/or tolerate trouble or suffering without becoming angry. While patience is crucial in many aspects of life it is even more important within submissive training. Losing your temper or becoming angry because things are not going the way you want them too is not fair to your partner and can put a stop to any training progress.

Dom/mes: Understanding that your submissive is human and will never be perfect is the first step to becoming an true Dominant. Once you understand this, keeping a cool head and remaining patient at all times will allow you to make the necessary changes that your submissive needs in order to learn and grow.  Impatience and anger does nothing but cloud your judgement and if you lash out at your submissive it will create a divide between the both of you.  Patience and understanding are key to maintaining a healthy relationship and training regime for your submissive.

Dom/mes Journal Entry: Do you feel you are patient and understanding?  When have you exhibited patience and understanding within life and when you are training your submissive?

Does your submissive show signs of patience and understanding in their life and in their training?

When you have completed this entry ask your submissive if they think you are patient with them and have them write down examples of when you have been patient.  Don’t become angry if they don’t think you are.  Instead listen with an open mind and heart and take what they say as a lesson.  You need to learn as much from your submissive, as your submissive learns from you.  Use what they say to help you grow as a person and a Dominant.

submissives: Don’t think you are off the hook and patience is only a characteristic Dominants should have.  As a submissive it is essential that you are able to tolerate suffering without losing your temper.  There is nothing worst (as a Dominant) then training a submissive, who suddenly lashes out unexpectedly.  Remaining calm, level headed and maintaining your patience during training is important for your own growth as a submissive. It’s also important that your Dominant knows and trusts that you will remain calm during difficult times for their own safety.

I know training can be difficult and there are many things that will try your patience:

1) An extremely difficult training task, or scene

2) Feeling like you are not learning or not being able to perfect a certain submissive skill

3) Feeling that your Dominant is not listening to you or does not understand how difficult things are for you

4) Other life struggles that can interfere or distract you from your training

Whatever the struggle is that you are going through, it is your patience that will help you to take a time out to better understand why you are having such a difficult time.  It is your patience that will help to open up the lines of communication with your Dominant in a manner that is more easily received.  It is your patience that will help to get you through the tough times not only in your training, but in life as well.

This is not to say that you should not speak with your Dominant when something goes wrong in training or if you are having a difficult time.  However, speaking from a point of anger and frustration, where your own true feelings can be misinterpreted by you and your Dominant can create an invisible divide between the both of you. Instead, patience allows you to take a breath and speak calmly with your Dominant.  You will find that this form of communication is more openly received and understood.

Lastly, I have seen far too many submissives who lose patience with themselves quicker then with anything or anybody else.  You must understand that you are human, and like all humans you will make mistakes.  In fact, what fun would there be in training a perfect submissive all the time.  What makes a Dominant/submissive relationship so strong is the growing together through such difficult circumstances.  So before you give someone else a break, try giving yourself that same break.  Be patient, understanding and loving to yourself.

submissive Journal Entry: Do you feel you are patient and understanding?  When have you exhibited patience and understanding within life and within training?

Does your Dominant show signs of patience and understanding in their life and in their training?

When you have completed this entry ask your Dominant if they think you are patient with them and ask them if they could write down examples of when you have been patient.  Don’t become angry if they don’t think you are.  Instead listen with an open mind and heart and take what they say as a lesson.  This exercise is meant to help you grow as a person and a submissive.

Regards,

Master Bishop

 

================================================================

Copyright 2008-2013 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.

================================================================

You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

Opera Gloves in Your BDSM Scene

September 26, 2013

When you go to see a play, you might notice that the props can often make an ordinary scene one that is  Wet look Long Glovesmemorable. The same thing can be said for BDSM scenes. Though you might have a powerful voice and a strong presence, there’s something more exciting about a Mistress or Master that pulls out a prop and begins to throw it around at a slave or near a slave. And the most innocuous props are the ones that really seem to make the difference. Opera gloves, though simple looking at first, are able to turn a simple scene into one that changes a slave – for the better.

Wearing Gloves to Please

Though it doesn’t really matter who’s wearing the gloves, the Mistress is the most common person for the job. She will wear the gloves at the start of a scene or she will show them to the slave as she is putting them on, ever more seductively and slowly. This process serves to show the slave that she is trying to turn him on, but also that he is only just an observer to her beauty…until she decides to allow him otherwise. The gloves might also be a common addition to the scene, but they might only be taken out and used as something more once in a while. It’s up to you how you want to begin to change the way that you interact with a slave.

 

The Glove Restraint Method

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Long Vinyl Lace Up Gloves

First of all, you can use the gloves as simple restraints when training a slave. This might include tying their hands

together with the gloves or having the slave wear the gloves and then tying them within these foreign items. You might also want to hold a slave down with the gloves or show them that the gloves can be used to bind other parts of their body. A slave might have a glove tied around their scrotum. Or as another example, you might want to take one glove, shove it into your slave’s mouth and then use the other glove to secure it in in their mouth. This glove gag is not only intense, but it’s also unexpected since the slave will not have thought you were going to do anything more than just wear the gloves.

Servitude and Gloves and Responsibility

The gloves can also be a point of reference for a slave who is trying to learn how to be the best slave possible. Putting the gloves on and placing them back on a Mistress’ hands may be an act of servitude, a reward for being good in other training sessions. The slave might also be trained in the proper way of putting the gloves onto the Mistress and

the proper way of taking them back off. Or the slave might be entrusted with cleaning the gloves when the Mistress isn’t wearing them. Or a slave might have to wear the gloves themselves at different times to show their deference.

No matter what you have done with opera gloves in the past, these gloves can help to enhance your training sessions, even if you’ve never used them as more than just a costume piece. The more that you look at everyday items as possible ways to train a slave, the more you will begin to change the way that your slave looks at you. Once they realize you can not be predicted, they will be on their best behavior. And you might just find that your training sessions are more effective because your slave understands they are always being tested.

 

Regards,

Mistress Brianne

 

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Copyright 2008-2013 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are responsible for any use of the information in this article, and hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates harmless in any claim or event.

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You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

The Difference Between BDSM And Abuse

September 17, 2013

I continually receive emails and comments at The BDSM Training Academy about how BDSM is a form of abuse. I find it very upsetting especially when W/we try so hard to educate people on how to incorporate a safe, sane and consensual form of BDSM here at the Academy. BDSM is meant to enhance and strengthen a healthy, loving relationship. In no way shape or form, would W/we ever support any form of abuse.  It is wrong to physically or emotionally lash out at another person and cause that person any form of mental, emotional or physical harm or duress.

In the image below you will be able to see a list of the big differences that I believe separate BDSM from abuse.  Have a look and let Me know what you think. Do you agree, disagree or do you believe there are other differences that I have overlooked.

Also please like and share this image and page with your friends. Its time W/we start educating people in the world on the differences between BDSM and abuse. People need to know that there is a huge difference between BDSM and abuse. W/we are  not evil people because W/we like to spice up O/our love life, or for enjoying BDSM, kink and other associated fetishes.

Please help to spread the word, that BDSM is a beautiful expression of love between responsible consenting adults

Thank you for your time and for your continued support.

Wishing you all well,

Master Bishop

P.S. Please feel free to add this image to your blogs, websites, and social media networks.  W/we want to spread the word BDSM does not mean abuse.  Help be a part of the solution.  Thank you all.

 

The difference between BDSM and abuse

Sub Question: What If I Can’t Provide What My Dom/me Wants?

September 7, 2013

I love bondage and that’s the only thing that really gets me sexually in the mood with my mistress. She likes to bind me and fuck me but what do I do if my mistress wants something I can’t provide?

Sincerely,

LJ

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Mistress Brianne’s Opinion

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The slave that wants to please their Mistress or Master is one that is a good slave. It’s a healthy thing to question whether you are able to live up to the standards set for you and whether you are doing the best that you possibly can.

Let me tell you this – this is a feeling that will not go away. You will continuously be looking for ways to please your Mistress, and in doing so, you will become a better slave for it.

That said, when you don’t feel that you can do what your Mistress is asking you to do, you need to start by being honest with yourself. Are you trying as hard as you possibly can? If not, then you need to try harder.

If you feel that you are trying as hard as you can, ask yourself if you are letting fear get in the way. If you are letting fear get in the way, then you need to challenge your own feelings of fear and see if you can push past them. Sometimes, the greatest learning is ignoring your fear and trying something that scares you.

Now, fear isn’t always something to ignore. If you feel that your Mistress is asking you to do something that you physically or emotionally cannot do, then you need to think about whether this is something that you shared with your Mistress in your initial agreements. If not, this is the time to share your limits with them and apologize for not expressing these sooner.

In the case of a Mistress who is ignoring your limits, you need to have a talk about this in detail. You need to be able to trust your Mistress and a Mistress who pushes you to do things you haven’t agreed to do is someone you can’t trust. Over time, this sort of arrangement is going to break down and you’re going to become more and more unhappy.

When I read your question, however, it sounds more like you have tried to do the things that your Mistress has requested of you, and you simply cannot do them. It can be hard on your psyche, as you may feel that you are letting your Mistress down.

What I would suggest is an honest discuss with your Mistress about why you feel you aren’t meeting her standards. See if you can both problem solve the situation, as two heads are often better than one. You might be able to find an alternative, but accepted, solution. You also may not.

You may also have come upon a situation where there is a limit you didn’t realize was there – this is okay. We are all different in terms of what our bodies and our minds can do. A good Mistress will understand this and they will work with what you can do.

If you find that your Mistress is a ‘my way or the highway’ sort of person who will not listen to your concerns, then you may need to walk away from the relationship, knowing that you have tried your hardest. You simply can’t please everyone, even if you want to.

Have the talk, find out what they think is going on, and talk about what is happening for you. You might just find that your Mistress didn’t realize your limits, and now you can have them spoken so everyone is happy with the results.

Regards,

Mistress Brianne

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