Sub Question: What If I Can’t Provide What My Dom/me Wants?

September 7, 2013

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I love bondage and that’s the only thing that really gets me sexually in the mood with my mistress. She likes to bind me and fuck me but what do I do if my mistress wants something I can’t provide?

Sincerely,

LJ

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Mistress Brianne’s Opinion

The slave that wants to please their Mistress or Master is one that is a good slave. It’s a healthy thing to question whether you are able to live up to the standards set for you and whether you are doing the best that you possibly can.

Let me tell you this – this is a feeling that will not go away. You will continuously be looking for ways to please your Mistress, and in doing so, you will become a better slave for it.

That said, when you don’t feel that you can do what your Mistress is asking you to do, you need to start by being honest with yourself. Are you trying as hard as you possibly can? If not, then you need to try harder.

If you feel that you are trying as hard as you can, ask yourself if you are letting fear get in the way. If you are letting fear get in the way, then you need to challenge your own feelings of fear and see if you can push past them. Sometimes, the greatest learning is ignoring your fear and trying something that scares you.

Now, fear isn’t always something to ignore. If you feel that your Mistress is asking you to do something that you physically or emotionally cannot do, then you need to think about whether this is something that you shared with your Mistress in your initial agreements. If not, this is the time to share your limits with them and apologize for not expressing these sooner.

In the case of a Mistress who is ignoring your limits, you need to have a talk about this in detail. You need to be able to trust your Mistress and a Mistress who pushes you to do things you haven’t agreed to do is someone you can’t trust. Over time, this sort of arrangement is going to break down and you’re going to become more and more unhappy.

When I read your question, however, it sounds more like you have tried to do the things that your Mistress has requested of you, and you simply cannot do them. It can be hard on your psyche, as you may feel that you are letting your Mistress down.

What I would suggest is an honest discuss with your Mistress about why you feel you aren’t meeting her standards. See if you can both problem solve the situation, as two heads are often better than one. You might be able to find an alternative, but accepted, solution. You also may not.

You may also have come upon a situation where there is a limit you didn’t realize was there – this is okay. We are all different in terms of what our bodies and our minds can do. A good Mistress will understand this and they will work with what you can do.

If you find that your Mistress is a ‘my way or the highway’ sort of person who will not listen to your concerns, then you may need to walk away from the relationship, knowing that you have tried your hardest. You simply can’t please everyone, even if you want to.

Have the talk, find out what they think is going on, and talk about what is happening for you. You might just find that your Mistress didn’t realize your limits, and now you can have them spoken so everyone is happy with the results.

Regards,

Mistress Brianne

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