Once the BDSM Honeymoon is Over

In the beginning, the slave-Dominant relationship is one of excitement, servitude, and newness. This is fun and it should be, but just as with any relationship that you want to extend for more than a few dates, the honeymoon isn’t going to last. You will find flaws with your slave and your slave will find flaws in you (not that there are any, of course). If you want to extend the honeymoon and all of its excitement, you need to keep a few things in mind as the Dominant.

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Change is Good
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The main reason why BDSM relationships begin to falter, as so many other relationships do, is because you fall into a rut. This is especially the case with newer Dom/mes and slaves as you may not have a wealth of knowledge or skills. As a result, you continue to do the same things again and again. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this, it does make for some boredom – and quickly. Instead, you need to make sure you’re changing things up as the Dominant. Maybe your slave needs to be given other tasks or you need to change the way you train your slave. Simply find a few things to switch up and things can feel new again.

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Challenges for All
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The challenge of slave training is that you’re trying to mold a slave into a certain form you have in mind. In order to do this over the long term, you need to make sure you are challenging each other. The slave needs to be challenged to do more, to work harder, and to see just how much pain they can take. As the Dominant, you need to set new goals for your slave in each session, helping them grow into their role and to feel like they are making progress.

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Change the Scenery
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Just a simple change in the location of your sessions can make a BDSM relationship feel more exciting. Take your slave to a hotel room or to another location with which they are not familiar. This will help the slave feel as though they are not in control, which they are not. As a result, the slave will need to be more obedient and they will need to be even more subservient to find out what you want in this new situation.

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Assess Your Goals
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At the same time, if you’re finding that both you as the Mistress and your slave just aren’t enjoying things anymore, it might be time to reassess your relationship and the goals. Perhaps you just wanted a brief fling with a slave and not a long term situation. That’s fine. But sitting down to find out what you both want is crucial so that you’re not wasting each other’s time or energy. When all else fails, talk out the situation to see what you might need to change.

BDSM training is not simple and it’s not easy at times. But when you keep communication lines open and creativity as a priority, you can avoid that lull or that boredom in your relationship. While you might still encounter some times of dullness, at least now you know how to break free.

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Regards,

Master Bishop

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