i have a question to ask i have a master who i have known for two years and over these two years he has been training me very slowly as he works all the time this is fine as i know i have to be patient but things have stayed at the same stages of training for the past six months with me not progressing very much i have been doing the daily tasks he asks of me and when i do get to see him he trains me a bit more but not as much as i want and he says he wants to train me more as well. i also find myself wanting more from the relationship and not sure whether he does, which has lead me to question whether i am a worthy and good sub as my training hasn’t progressed much and also i have these strong feelings for him. my question is how do i bring up the fact that i want to be trained more and see him more without disappointing him because i’ve asked him to spend more time with me than work.
sub a.l. london uk
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A Slave Who Wants More?
If you’re in a situation as a slave where you feel like things aren’t progressing, it’s time to figure out why. Your Master isn’t a mind reader and while he might seem like he can tell what you need, he’s also human. It’s very common for slaves to begin to feel bored in their positions, but instead of simply feeling these feelings and keeping them inside, you need to make sure you are doing all that you can in your relationship so that you can be the best slave possible as well as the best trained slave possible.
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What are Your Expectations?
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A slave and Master relationship begins with the use of a contract as well as a training schedule. If you have neither of these, how can you ever begin to know if you are being trained well? Creating a clear contract and training schedule is something you and your Master should sit down and do immediately.
If you already have these documents in place, you need to stop to think about whether you are following what you have in place. It might be that you have already done everything that your contract says or that you haven’t included the details about what you really want from your partner. It’s a good idea to really stop and think about what your contract says you should expect. If the contract is being followed, it’s time to think about a new contract to include the new things you want from each other. You grow and develop as a person, a relationship grows and develops, therefore a contract should grow and develop along with you.
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Are You Really Doing Your Best?
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As a slave, you need to question yourself before you question your Master. Stop and think about whether you are truly doing your best when you are following his commands. If you are not giving 110%, then he might continue to put you through the same lessons until he is satisfied with your performance. At the same time, if you are truly doing as best you can, then it’s time to ask your Master how you can improve since you aren’t progressing to another level of training. He might be able to tell you that you need to do additional things and if he doesn’t have any improvements to suggest, he might begin to realize that he needs to step up his training more.
At the same time, if your Master does work a lot, then you need to ask yourself if you are making his life easier. A tired, stressed and overworked Dominant can become overwhelmed with life, having to think up new ideas for training can become too much sometimes. As a submissive are you making his life easier so he has the extra time to focus on your training? Or are you just waiting around for him to train you?
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What is ‘More’?
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Speaking of ‘more,’ how exactly do you define this as a slave? If you find yourself in the position of wanting more from your Master, you need to be ready to define what this is. You should schedule a time to sit down with your Master to clearly outline what is working for you and what is not working for you. In doing so, you will be able to create a new training plan that will help you both meet your needs. Having a vague definition of ‘more’ is not going to help your Master understand your desires. Do you want more punishment? Less? Do you want more menial tasks? More humiliation? Be clear about what you want and then you will find out if your Master is able to provide this. Or not.
It’s easy to think that the Master is the one with all of the solutions, but if there isn’t clear communication, there can be no change. Communication in a Dom/sub relationship is essential! A Master can not read minds and they can not simply know what you want by looking at you. As your relationship develops and you begin to get to know each other better, you might be able to know each other’s need and desires, but until you talk, it will be a mystery. Remember you may be the submissive in the relationship, but you still have a voice. Going into request position and asking to speak with your Dominant is a great way to start a conversation about making changes.
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>>>To learn how to develop the Dominant/submissive relationship you desire visit ===> Dominant/submissive Relationship Tips
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Regards,
Master Bishop
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As a new sub, I have found that it is essential for both to make a contribution to the relationship. I have bought new lingerie and actually made clothing that he finds stimulating. I learned how to make nipple rings that have proved to be very exciting to both of us. I offer new positions of bondage that he has told me he appreciates. I exercise frequently to keep my body lean and tight for him. I take care of all the chores around the house and yard so he has no worries when he returns home from working on the road all week. I research in books and online to learn all that I can to be a better sub. You cannot allow your mindset to concentrate on yourself. Your priority has to be on and for your Dom 24/7. If you strive to cherish your Dom, he will treasure you in return and your training will progress effortlessly. If you really feel that your place as a sub is failing, then you must ask him if you can communicate your feelings to him. A true Dom should have no problem listening to his property if she is striving to please him more efficiently, which in turn, will benefit your position as his slave.
Hi susan,
Thanks for the comment and great points. Just like any other relationship, it takes two people to make sure a Dom/sub relationship works. Before you point the finger as someone else you have to look at yourself first and make sure you are doing everything you can on your part. From what you have written in your comment susan, I can see you definitely put the effort into making your Dom happy. From the sounds of it, your Dom appreciates and returns the effort.
I have been in relationships where sub’s are selfish and only thinking of their needs. They want to be spanked, they want to be flogged, they want to be Dominated, etc. This is fine but remember all this takes time, energy and planning on the Dominants part. If the Dominant does not receive any appreciation and effort in return eventually He will just pull away and focus on other things. Remember Doms are human too and they need to see appreciation and effort of their subs part.
Now I’m not saying sub al is at fault, I’m just saying susan brings up a good point, focus on yourself and what you can do to show appreciation and help to make your Dom’s life easier. Ask Him, if there is anything you can do to make His life easier and then show Him you care. This could provide Him with the motivation to step up your training.
Thanks again susan sub, for sharing your thoughts and the great suggestions you made.
Regards,
Master Bishop
I have the same concerns as U. K, the last question. Thanks for answering, when I see my master, I will talk with him
Slave Pam
My master is on the road during the week, so I don’t see him as often as I would like, I don’t complain, I know he is busy and he does have a private life besides his BDSM life. I do check in daily, master wants to know how I spend my day. I do everything my master ask of me, I too have feelings for my master.
Slave Pam
Thank you for this question and response
I have been struggling as a sub/slave. I have been doing everything and even more for my Master. I pay for hotel meetings. I purchase his favorite whisky’s and bourbons. Recently I was given the awesome tasks of researching cigars and matching them with his favorite spirits.
There is no contract. It has been hard for me because I give so much of myself to him because I love him and want to please him. But it feels as though I am being used. I love our times together but they are short and not consistent. I am often left feeling confused and sad.
I receive praise from him. He tells me that I am the BEST sub he has ever encountered yet I feel as though I am just a side person.
He tells me he loves me, but never takes me to dinner nor spends time outside of the bedroom with me . I love pain. It is divine to me but when we are apart I feel so detached from him.
I am not sure what to do at this point.